Snapes Footsteps
by baboon
Summary: Draco goes through the same things as Snape, but Draco is supossed to do it better. I'm bad at summaries! DMHG, Read and Review!
1. Awake

**Snapes Footsteps**

**Warning**: Do not read it, unless you felt pity for Snape as you read OotP.

**Main figures**: Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Severus Snape

Read, find out if you like it. 

Draco has got to go through the same things as Snape, though HE ought to make things better. Is played in the 6th year of the HP clan

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the charas. They belong to JK Rowling or Warner Bros. (I'm not sure… ;-))

Draco lay on the floor, he couldn't move. He couldn't feel his body, he wasn't sure it was still there. His head felt terrible, a monotone knocking kept hitting his forehead from inside, it might split his brain in thousand pieces every second now. Draco opened his mouth to moan, and he felt blood at the corner of his mouth. He started to lick it with his tongue, and the bitter taste of his own blood seemed both: disgusting the same as analeptic. 

Slowly the numbness left his body, and he tried to open his eyes. Everything was blurred and seemed to spin around frantically. 

Draco tried to remember were he was. What have he done, to lie on the floor in this condition? And who–?

His father. 

The memory slipped in his mind. 

He remembered Lucius Malfoy, threatening him, blame him for being a traitor, he remembered the feeling of horror in him, as he saw his father raise his wand against his own son. Him.

Draco remembered pain. Overpowering Pain, to stop all hope, al kindness and comfort coming to him. 

'Crusius' the words resounded in his mind. How could his father, the one he used to care for his son, dare to cause him such pain? Him, his own flesh and blood, how could he…

But now was not the time to swell in revenge thoughts. 

He had to warn them. They will run directly in the trap. He couldn't just stay here, and wait for them to fail. 

Draco stood up. He moaned, his hole body was aching. He ignored it. He had to leave this room. It was the workroom of his father, he didn't know where Lucius was, but he needed to go out of the Malfoy Manison unseen.

He crawled to the door, clutching his stomach. His Broom. If he could only get to his room… he could be able to… but the flight might cost him loads of time. Time he doesn't have. So he turned to the fireplace. Could he dare to use it? His father would know if he'd floo himself near Hogwarts. He couldn't floo himself directly in there… but maybe Dumbledores office… he couldn't waste time. He stepped inside the fireplace, grabbed the powder and shouted: "Hogwarts, Headmaster office" and the green flames seemed to swallow him. 

He reappeared in Dombledores office. So it worked. But where was Dumbledore? Where was he? He couldn't have gone yet, could he?

"Professor Dumbledore? Professor Dumbledore!!", he yelled through the office, but he knew, it wouldn't help anything. Draco broke down, on the floor again. He wanted to cry. Cry for all the souls his father, Voldemort and all the others might already in their hands.

But that would mean he had already given up. He wouldn't let his father win. 

A door opened slowly, and Draco could hear someone gasp at the sight of him. 

"Mr. Malfoy! Mr Malfoy, what happened? Why are you here?"

"Minerva, it's okay, we'll bring him to the hospital wing, and then we can questioning him", he could hear Dumbledores calm voice.

"NO!", Draco tried to stand up, but failed, "No, Headmaster, listen to me! We're in danger! This can't wait! You have to warn everyone! You have to send it in the Daily Prophet, or anything. The Death Eaters! They want to trap you! What ever you do, never, NEVER get near Diagon Alley. They have to evacuate Diagon Alley! Please, listen to me, trust me, I know they'll attack there, and as soon as the letters are handed out to the pupils, and the streets of Diagon Alley will fill, they'll attack!! 

Please, Please, listen,… believe… don't … leave me! I know it… they'll attack!…"

The words fade from Dracos mouth.

**N/A**: Review?? Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase!!! 


	2. Save

Valerie, thanks for the review! Hermione will return with the other students, but first I had to kinda sort things out.

Draco opened his eyes. 

He felt no pain. Neither in his stomach, nor in his legs, nor in his head. 

He didn't know where he was. But it doesn't matter. 

Maybe his father found him. Maybe he finished. Maybe the crucius curse was not enough anymore. Because now he really WAS a traitor.

The memories flooded his mind. He was awake, and nothing could stop him to stand up. 

Nothing except the chains around his ankles. 

'Shit. I'm not dead. I don't think anyone could hold me back, if I'm a ghost,' thought Draco. 

What to do now? Scream? No, he doesn't felt like screaming. The room was bright, and friendly. He didn't really know why he was enchained, but maybe there was a good reason for it.

He sensed someone else in the room. 

He turned his head and saw Professor Snape sitting next to him in a chair, nearly asleep.

He didn't want to wake him up, though he was curious. 

But Snape awoke by himself, a look of concern in his face, which tightened, as he saw Draco awake.

 "So, Draco," for the first time he called one of his students with the forename, "you've finally awoken. I shall get Professor Dumbledore."

"No, no, Professor Snape", he didn't know why, but he didn't want to be alone, "no, please, just answer me some questions."

"I'm really not in the position of answering–"

"Did they realize my warning?"

"Draco, I can't–"

"Please, i need to know! Have you evacuate Diagon Alley?"

"Mr. Malfoy, we've taken you're warning seriously. I can't tell you more. I'll go for the Headmaster"

He left, and Draco was alone. Could they catch the Death Eaters? Could they save the innocent?

Some minutes later Snape returned, followed by Dubledore. 

"Hello, Draco. How are you?", Dubledore asked friendly, and gave him a warm look.

"I'm fine. Could you catch them?"

"Unfortunately… not. It happened that the Death Eaters were well protected, most of them were able to flee from our Aurors. But we could save a lot of lifes because of your warning, and I'm very glad that you've told us. Now, Draco, it is very important for me that you tell me what happened the evening you came to my office."

"I-I…", Draco didn't know whether he should tell him about the course or not. "What about my father? Could he flee?"

"Yes, I think Lucius Malfoy is in a well hidden place. But you can be sure, as long as you stay in Hogwarts, there is no-one who could harm you. Can you tell me who did this to you, and why?"

"It… It was my father. He-he did the crucius curse on me," Draco shook slightly, he didn't dare to look them into the eyes. 

Snape looked rather shocked. He couldn't imagine any father who did this to his son. 

"I've overheard them. There was a meeting, in the mansion, and I could hear them talk about Diagon Alley. M-my father found me. First he thought it might not be a problem. But… then I started to freak out. Told him, I would tell everything Dumbledore, if he wouldn't stop them. See, I know, there would be a lot of innocent people. Maybe Potter will be under them, but the victims are to big. I wanted to stop them. But they… they didn't want to be stopped."

Dumbledore nodded. "Draco, again, I want to thank you for warning us. This was very brave, and very less people are able to bear a crucius curse without being damaged. So Professor Snape gave you some sleep potion and you've been in a long sleep. You dreamed very … actionly, and that's why you're enchained With these words he lifted the chains with a move of his wand. Then he continued:"It is the first of September, and all the students are on their way to Hogwarts. 

Now, there will be a lot of Slytherins, and I don't know if Lucius had told is fellows of you turning to the other side. It might be dangerous, if I tell them that you've come and warned me. But if you want so…"

"No! No, Professor, I'm ok with this. But to be honest, I think, they will know. I'll just go down the great hall when everyone arrives, and I think, if I just separate me a little from the other Slytherins, I'll do well."

"If you feel so… Good bye then, Mr. Malfoy."

"Good bye Professor Dumbledore."

Draco expected Snape to turn away, but he remained, and again sat down in his chair, watching Draco in his bed.

"Professor?"

"Yes, Draco?"

"You… you aren't… you weren't on the meeting. But Da- my father told me, you're very loyal to the dark lord, how comes, you haven't killed me yet?" as cool as it may sound, but draco's voice shook, and Snape made him nervous.

"Because…", Snape thought about a good answer, but it seemed to be the best to be honest to the boy. "Because I'm the same as you are. I did the same as you did. But I've returned to the dark side. But Just obviously, because my real loyalties were, are and will be in Professor Dumbledore. I've got my reasons, but you can trust me."

He didn't want to say more, and Draco understood. 

"Your school things, Mr. Malfoy, are already in Hogwarts, as Malfoy mansion is now empty, we got it for you, and you will be able to have a normal school year," with these word Snape turned away and left the hospital wing.

**A/N**: I'm hungry. Review hungry. Oh please, just leave a comment!


	3. Alone

**Disclaimer**: still own nothing ;-) Thanks to my reviewers, kairi and valerie and lindsey, I'm glad you like it.   
So, in this one, there is some Draco/Hermione stuff, but don't expect too much, I will make it really slooooww.. *g*  
In other words: I'd like them to suffer!   
Fredand GeorgeWeasley are gods: (I totally agree with you!) Nah, I won't make him a pussy. But I think he has to be a little… melachonic and sad and thoughtfully and so on, for a little while, you must admit, that his father has done cruel things to him. He can't be just all happy! But I'll try to keep him "manly" *laugh my fat ass off*

Hermione, Ron and Harry stepped through the doors into the Hall. Ron and Harry were deeply into a conversation about Quidditch, and Hermione thought about her new book while they walked into the great hall. 

Draco walked down the stairs and watched the clique. Ginny and Neville were also there, and they were quite insular from the rest of Hogwarts. Draco watched as Harry moved to show Ron a new position he learned out of a book. Ron laughed, and so did Neville and Ginny, though Hermione were standing on the edge of the group and looking thoughtfully. 

He wondered, what he should do, know, that all the Slytherins won't accept him anymore. He halfway considered to walk to Dumbledore and ask him, if he could get a room by himself. But then his proud would be totally damaged. All of the other Death Eaters children would think he's a coward, and that would be far worse than everything else. Because all that those Slytherin will know about him, will his father also know. And he didn't want to show Lucius Malfoy any weak sites. 

Draco reached his house table, but he felt, the first time in his life, that he don't belong there, and he set himself far away from Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkiston, who were surely already told by there parents what he had done. 

Dumbledores speech this time was hold quickly, and he was glad, because his stomach felt, like he hadn't had something in there for ages. Which might be, reconsidered, really true. 

Before Draco was ready to leave the hall, he looked, again, to the Gryffindor table. He watched as Ron made a funny face with two tomatoes (as eyes) and a pickle (as mouth). He balanced a potatoe on his nose, and then turned to the cherry's and hung them over his ears. The hole table roared with laughter. To Draco, this was just another reason to hate them. The hole lot of them, mudbloods, and fame searching, arrogant gits, surrounded by stupid people, who only used their brain to laugh at the famous. He couldn't stand the thought that everyone seemed to enjoy theirselfs while he just ... just sat there and waited.

Somehow he wished he wouldn't have survived the curse. It seemed just useless. What was he supposed to do? He had no friends. And jet, the school hadn't began, he didn't even have something to learn, or any homework to do. Of course, he could read his schoolbooks. This wasn't this bad idea. But his schoolbooks weren't interesting anymore. His father told him which books he needed the next year, and he bought it straight on the end of the last school year. The thought of his father hurt. He would have never thought, that he was able… 

He shook his head, as if the thoughts would vanish if he just shook hard enough. He strode of to the library, to find another book to read. 

Minutes later, he said down, with a copy of _The most dangerous potions and their effect_ and sank into his favorite suspect. 

He liked the library when it was empty. It was just empty in the early morning, late at night and, of course, when the term hasn't start. But he wouldn't have thought that anyone would come to the library on the first school day, except him of course. 

Draco was wrong. A lank, bushy brown haired girl stepped in the library. It was pretty dark outside, so he couldn't make out who it was in the first moment. But from the candlelights surrounding her face as she stepped nearer, he recognized her as Hermione Granger. Immediately, Draco hid in the shadows. He didn't want to draw attention to him. Though he wasn't eager to speak with this mudblood, he also didn't want anyone to know, he's kind of bookworm. He didn't like the idea of people thinking he was a striver.

Hermione strode through the book shelves, trying to find a copy of _transfiguration in animagi_ which wasn't easy, because this wasn't usual light reading. She went on, and while going, she went nearer and nearer Draco, who didn't dare to move, or take a breath.

'This is childish!', said a voice in Draco's head. 'I don't know why I'm hiding from Granger! Could do with a little fun, thought, could jinx her…' but he kept his wand down, and didn't move. He just watched her, on tiptoes and searching for this book. 

After a little while, she cheered and left the library with a heavy book, looking rather to big for her. One instant Draco found himself wanting to help this tiny girl carrying that great book, but then he stooped himself. 

'what am I thinking? Me? Helping a mudblood? It must be late, I should sleep, it was I little too much for me today, it seems…' and so he began to walk towards the dungeons, in the Slytherin common room.

He could hear all the Slytherin lot screaming, laughing and having fun in there. Draco looked at his watch, it was just half past eleven, of course everyone's still telling holidaystorys. He had also a funny story to tell. 

'Oh, I've betrayed the Death Eater and the dark Lord, my father used the crucius curse on me, I've spend a lot of time sleeping in the hospital wing of Hogwarts… YES, really, funny holiday, wasn't it?.' he smirked at the thought of telling his "friends" this story. 

"Phoenixtear", he muttered, and the portrait swung open. All Slytherins turned to look at whom would come this late to the common room. 

The room felt silent. The noisy conversation turned to a general whisper, pointing at Draco, the most of them looking at him in disgust, and telling the first years who this stranger is.

Draco turned to the sleeping dormitories, trying to get through the crowd. Suddenly Pansy Parkinson turned up in front of him. 

"Well well well," she grinned spiteful, "If this isn't Draco Malfoy!"

Pansys eyes gleamed at him evil. 

"What do you want, Pansy?", Draco asked coolly. Maybe, if he just pretended…

"You know exactly what I mean!", she shrieked, in her annoying high pitched voice. 

The words "Traitor", "Betrayer" and "Snitcher" spun around in the common room.

"I'm afraid I do not. Is ickle Pansy-darling not in a good mood today?", he spoke in a voice as if to a baby, while grabbing her cheek and twitching it. If her glance could have done any harm to him, he might have dropped dead in this moment. 

"Now, Pansy, I'm really tired, you see? I just simply don't care what you guys think about me."

"Think I should make you care then, shouldn't I?", Pansy hissed angrily.

Draco forced his way through the crowd again, ignoring Pansy, and turning to the boy's dormitorys. But then something hit him in back. He fell on the floor, his backbone hurting badly. 

He stood up again. It felt like every bone in his body would break, but he forced himself not to be striked down by those kids. [maybe, he has just read fReDAnD GEoRGeWeASleY ArE gODs' review, and now tries to be MANLY! *still laughing*] 

He turned around to face goyle, who was just about to hit him with the foot, but Draco pointed his wand on him. 

"Believe me, against the crucius curse, your hits are like soft strokes,"he said coldly and then finally got to his dormitory. 

**N/A**: I'm afraid Malfoy isn't manly enough... *rofl* no, honest, he plays cool outside, but inside, he is just a softy. J  
Leave me a review if you like it, and if not… LEAVE ME A REVIEW!  
(just in case you haven't understood yet: Leave me a review in any circumstance!)


	4. Attacked

**Disclaimer**: I don't own not nothing. - wich means, everything belongs to JK Rowling

Draco threw his timetable in front of him. As usual. Though, Slytherin had often classes together with Gryffindor. At least, THEY don't know, what he've done. He could really imagine Harry and Ron laugh at the very thought of Draco doing something noble.

If someone had told Draco at the end of the last school year, that he would save so much lives out of a bad feeling he had about murdering so many innocent people… he wouldn't have believed it. 

Now he even wondered, why he hated the golden Gryffindor this badly.

For him, there was no real reason. Except that he've survived the Avada curse, and destroyed Lord Voldemort with this. But now, that Draco stood on the other side… 

He would need another excuse for the deep hatred he felt every time he looked at the boys face. 

Draco hurried to his first lesson. It was Defence against the dark arts. He wondered who've got the job. He hadn't realized there was a new teacher on the staff table.

The crowd walked to the Defence Against the Dark Arts room, he followed without attracting attention. Pansy wouldn't dare to attack him with all this non-Slytherin eye witnesses, but… he shouldn't be to sure, and the rest would maybe not realize he's absent…

He sat himself in the last corner of the class and they waited curious fot the new teacher to arrive. 

The door was pushed open and a tall, pale, black haired man hurried in the classroom. 

There was a susurration through the pupils, as everyone recognized him as Professor Snape. He finally got the job. Draco could see Harry moaning in disbelief and starting to complain hushed to Ron. Draco smirked. At least something good. With him were all the Slytherins, glad, to have again a teacher who was "fair" (to Slytherins)

The lesson went good, and Snape, who seemed to know a lot of the Dark Arts, was a very good DADA teacher. Nobody really understood why Dombledore had kept him from the DADA-lessons. Ok, Gryffindors did. He was just as rude and unkind as in their potion lessons. Out of the corner of his eyes Draco could see Harry, who pretended to faint and rolled his eyes a couple of times. 

At least, Draco left this lesson in a very good mood.

The days faded, and the sun wasn't as strong as it was in Summer, but Draco could still sit out under a tree and enjoy the silence of the lake. 

At the beginning of term, he thought it would be hell, but it wasn't this bad. He still hadn't a room for himself, and there were also the long evenings in the common room, which he most of the time avoided, but the Slytherins didn't touch him again. Maybe it was because of what he said about the crucuis curse. 

He had a lot of time for himself. He never knew how much interesting books the library hold. And if he couldn't read or learn, he spend his time with thinking. 

"Hey, Malfoy, what do you do? Watching the sunset? _alone_?"

Draco turned around to face Ron, Harry and that what he simply called "company".

"Fuck off, Weasel, haven't you got some homework to do? Or maybe a little bit learning wouldn't harm. I heard you're rather not good at potions and Defence against the dark arts."

"Shut up, Malfoy, you know exactly why he isn't good in this lessons!" said Harry angrily.

"Oh, really? As far as I'm informed, you're worse than the weasel! I mean, potions, ok, but DADA? I thought you've had already enough practice? But of course, you can't expect the Potter and the weasel to remember such simple stuff. Maybe you thought, your Gryffindor mates would learn it for you?", Draco had stood up now, looking at them angrily, and waiting for the response. 

"I wouldn't take the mouth too full, Malfoy. Where are all you're Slytherin fellows? Have they left you all alone? Did they realized you as the back-stabbing snake as you are?"

There was something true in this sentence. Draco realized that it would be no good if he would fight with them. He shoot them a disgusting look, full of loathed, and then turned to the castle. First the group was so surprised that they didn't move at all. As he was a distant away from them, he heard Harry yell after him:

"The snake creeps up to hide, instead of fighting? Oh, Malfoy, I just realized what a coward you are!"

"_Victario_!" Draco shouted, while turning around very fast, giving them no time to defend or react. The Gryffindors were hit by a large, purple light and suddenly laid on the floor.

Draco didn't look at them, he just went on towards the castle.

From this day it got worse and worse. It seems like the Slytherins thought: when Harry Potter attacks him, we can also do it. 

Of course, they couldn't fight each other in school, there were always teachers around, but it seemed wherever Draco went, the other watched him. He felt that every step that he took were observed by either Slytherins or the golden Gryffindor boys friends, waiting for the moment were no one was around, and then duelling a bit. 

Draco was now regular guest in the hospital wing, every now and then with bruises and scars, or with a black eye. 

But he never said anything. Madam Pomfrey didn't ask anymore, and so did the teachers. They tried a couple of times, but he knew, he couldn't say who did this to him. The Slytherin lot did it, because he was a traitor, but that would cost to much explanation. And Potter.. No, Harry Potter would never cause anyone pain, would he?. It was just ridiculous.

The pupils knew what was going on, but either didn't dare to stop them or didn't want to. 

Most of his bruises were from his "friends", they called it a greeting from his father. 

Potter and his gang, anyway, they did worse things. It wasn't bad to have some scars, but every time they saw him, they knew another way to make fun of him, and to entertain the other students.

"Hey, malfoy ferret, what d'you think, ready for another show?", Harry shouted towards him.

"Yes I am," Draco answered, and took his wand. There were no teachers, and a little battle to cool them a little bit down and bring them down to earth wouldn't be bad. "_Rictusempra_!", he shouted, before Harry could put his wand out. He didn't care if that wasn't fair. 

Harry lay on the floor and moaned. Draco couldn't help himself but smirk. He started, right? It wasn't his fau-

"_Emvucio_!" screamed another voice, and the course hit Draco flatfooted. Suddenly he found himself levitate in the gangway. It felt like he was a ghost, and he kinda liked the feeling to be above all the others. 

"Hey, weasel, was this the effect you wanted? Because it's quite fun up here, want to come and join me? _Emvucio_!" and Ron hovered in the air. Thought Ron had no head for heights, for him it was rather less fun. 

"L-l-ea-leave m-me d-down!", he stuttered anxiously. Flying on a broom was ok, but floating through the air without anything?

"_Finite Incantatem_!", a female voice spoke calmly. Hermione just came from the library and stopped the duel. "There's no need to fight, I think everyone has got something to do, right?"

And the students who were watching turned to their common rooms. Draco, Ron and Harry lay on the floor. 

"We could've done without you're help, Hermione, but thank you anyway," Ron said and smiled at her. 

She just gave him a cold look. "As a prefect I want to know what was up. Again!", she rolled her eyes.

"Draco suddenly attacked Harry, and I thought I should avenge him…"

"Ron,… Do you think I'm stupid?"

"To be honest-", Draco began and began to smirk broadly

"Oh shut up, Malfoy, no one talks to _you_!", she interrupted him.

"Hermione, he really attacked me first!"

"Ok. Malfoy, why did you attack him?", she asked now in a rather bored voice, and didn't even look at Draco.

"Because I hate him and I want him to suffer," Draco simply hissed and then turned to the dungeons.

Draco more and more found himself hiding in shadows or taking a longer way to avoid Slytherins and Gryffindors. 

If he met some of them, he didn't fend. There was no sense in fighting them. He would be the bad one anyway, and it didn't make fun, because they were much more than him alone. 

So he just let it slip over him. He didn't even felt the pain anymore.

Days, weeks and months passed, the spring came. He could sit again by the lake and watch the clear water moving. This was his favorite place. But it was most beautiful in the night. When he couldn't sleep, he just stroked out and sat on the lakeside and watch the water forming rings. Pity it wasn't so quite at day. 

"Malfoy, huh, what are you reading? I didn't know ferrets can read!", he heard Harry shout at him, as he sat there one afternoon, reading a book.

Draco stood up again. He didn't want this all. But he knew, what the other want to see. They want to see the great Harry Potter defeating the strong, arrogant Malfoy. They don't want to see a broken boy who doesn't even want to fight.

So Draco pulled out his wand, and he half expected Harry to take it him away. Surely enough, the word "_Expelliarmus_!" were heard, and his wand flew away. Draco waited for the next strike. Ron shouted: "_Impedimenta_!" and Draco was knocked off, lying in the grass by now. He could try to reach his wand, it was just some inches, but the curse caused him to stay where he was. "_Scourgify_!", an awful taste of soap were in his mouth, and he spit bubbles as he opened his mouth. He'll suffer… They'll all suffer for this. But know he just had to fight against the urgent need to threw up.

"Harry! Ron! What are you doing? Are you going crazy??? Leave him ALONE, immediately!", he could hear a female voice, full of rage. "What was it this time?? What have he done?? LEAVE HIM, Harry!"

He recognized this voice. Hermione. Draco moaned inside. Couldn't this girl keep her nose out of the things of other people?? This was none of her business!

"Hermione, what-? You're such a partypooper! We just have a little fun with ickle Malfoy!" Ron defended them.

"Oh, just shut up! He haven't done you any harm now, have he?"

"No, actually not, but the fact that he exists is harm enough…"

Draco didn't listen to their quarrel. He was just an inch away from his wand and the curse wore off …

"_Rictusemptra_!", Draco shouted, but Ron had watched him, and suddenly Draco found himself hanging upside-down in the air. The crowd laughed again. Draco felt the blood streaming into his face, and this was not only because he hung up side down in the air.

"H a r r y,  R o n,  I _warn_ you. Leave. Him. _ALONE_!!!"

"Ok, Hermione, because it's you." Ron lowered his wand and Draco fell down. "You're lucky. If it weren't for 'Mione…"

Why did she do that? Why couldn't she just let them do, as everybody else did? He bit his lip. "I don't need this ugly mudblood to save my neck."

Hermione looked stunned. How could she forget that Draco was this greasy git that made their life to hell the past five years? Why did she stick up for him? He really HAS earned it! 

'But he didn't seem to defend himself, so anyone has to do it, right?', she thought. But he didn't seem to care. 

"Right Malfoy. I've learned my exercise. I'll never save you again," she said in a dead dangerous voice. 

Ron and Harry, anyway, didn't seem to take this easy. "Malfoy, you bastard, you'll apologize to her!", yelled Harry as he pointed his wand towards him again.

"As for you two, I stand to my word. I don't want _you_ to make him apologize. You're just searching for an excuse to hurt him. You're just as bad."

Then Hermione turned to the castle and walked away. Ron and Harry however didn't care, and some wand waves later, Draco hung upside-down in the air again.

Sometime it will bore them, and they'll leave him. Sometime…

"Potter! Weasley!" a voice shaken with anger shouted. Draco hit the floor, and as he looked up, he saw the person, who dared to save him this time. Snape.

"What do you think you are doing?? Attacking a student, on the Hogwarts grounds?? Giving your Gryffindor friends some fun?? This time, Potter, this time is it to much. I'll take you to the Headmaster. And twohundert points from Gryffindor. Both of you." 

Draco moaned. Now they'll have another thing to make fun of. He was saved by a teacher. Of course the headmaster won't expel them, he never did, and he never will. This wouldn't help anything. 

"And, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Yes, Professor?"

"I think you'll need to see the hospital wing. The bruise over you're eye doesn't look too good," and Snape turned away, hurrying to the headmasters office with Harry and Ron. 

Draco lay his hand to his forehead. He felt dizzy as he stood up. The crowd left the scene, and so did he. Draco didn't want to turn up in the hospital wing again. He felt alright, this bruise was nothing against the other attacks. 

But then everything spun around and the staircase in front of him seemed to vanish… 

**N/A**: I'm sorry. This one is boring. And, in case you haven't noticed, the last scene with hermione was shameless copied from Snape's worst memory - OotP. I'm sorry for this, but I think it's important, because it _has_ something to do with Snape, and if he recognizes this scene… well, you'll know what I mean. 

I know, you guys want to read more about hermione, but she hated him the last 5 years, it would be stupid if she suddenly loved him more than anything in the world. The same's for Draco. But I promise, this will change! 

Thanks to my reviews anyway, and keep leaving me a note. 


	5. History repeats

Disclaimer: never have, never will own them

"Is he alright, Poppy?"

"Yes, I do think so. For this time, I could do with a recover-potion, so all the bruises and wounds have healed over the night. But this is going this way since the start of term. This isn't the first time he's appearing in the hospital wing. It's already kind of ritual. I don't reckon the boy can stand this any longer. But he doesn't do anything against it. He doesn't tell any teacher, or the headmaster. Professor, could you talk to him?"

"I'll try, Poppy, but I can't promise you anything."

Snape stepped towards the bed where Draco lay. He was abnormal pale, but looked healthy besides this. 

"Mr Malfoy?"

Draco moaned. He slowly opened his eyes to look at Professor Snape.

"How are you feeling?"

"fucked up," Draco answered tired. As Snape frowned, he added: "Why am I here?"

"I thought, it's because of the endless wounds and contusions you've suffered. Is there any other reason you should be here?", Snape looked enquiring.

"No, it's just… What happened? I wanted to go to the dungeons, but then everything blurred…"

"Yes, you have been found by a student, she brought you up here."

"Have I? Er.. who?"

"I don't know, Mr. Malfoy, and I don't think it matters very much. I have to talk to you."

"What's the matter, professor?" 

"As Madam Pomfrey has told me, you were here a lot of times now, because of several injuries. Why haven't you told me you've been attacked?"

"Professor-"

"And don't tell me, it wouldn't be this bad! I know this. I know, how you feel!"

"No, you don't understand this. No one understands how I feel now. You don't know how it feels to be beaten up by everyone."

"So, I don't? So, tell me then, how does it feels?", in Snapes eyes shone something bitter. 

Draco felt silent. He didn't want to explain his feelings. This teacher didn't know anything! This was none of his business! But somehow he need to talk to someone. 

"Ok, Mr Malfoy. I don't want you to tell me this. You may think, it's nothing to me. But maybe you should just…let it out. But I understand you don't want to tell it you teacher. But it gets worse if you keep it inside."

Draco remained silent. He was surprised that Snape reacted so … understanding.

"But I'll keep an eye on you, Draco. And…", snape hesitated. "if you need anything, you can come to me every time, right?"

"Thank you."

Snape left. He had to do a lot of things. But he couldn't forget the events of the afternoon. This couldn't be, could it? He stood thoughtfully at the door and then Madam Pomfrey talked to him.

"Do you need something, Professor?", she asked politely at the look of his face. 

"No, Poppy, thank you. But-", he just needed to know, one thing… "who brought Mr Malfoy up here, can you tell me?"

"Of course. Miss Granger found him lying on the floor, and she let him fly here."

Snapes stomach clenched. Granger…

Severus sat in his chair, trying to correct the first years potions. But he found himself thinkin about Draco. It was surreal, yes, but it couldn't be fortuity. The curses… exactly the same at that time. And Draco was also a traitor. But that was a fact, he couldn't change this. But what was it with this Mudblood, Granger?

It was her who brought him up to the hospital wing, as he fainted. It was _her_… 

He let himself fell into the chair and closed his eyes. The memories of that day were as clear as if it would've been yesterday. But this happened a long time ago. Why should he warm up this old stuff. 

But if it was her, who brought him up there… hadn't she said, she would never help him again? 

Why had she done this? Maybe she …

'NO! Don't!', screamed a voice in his head, 'don't imagine this! This isn't good. Don't think about this. Forget it. These times have passed. This is over. Don't do this to yourself. It will hurt.'

But he couldn't help but think about it. What if Draco would not have called Hermione a mudblood? And what if Snape would not have called … 

"NO!" he yelled through his empty office. The shout echoed from wall to wall. 

"I'm wrong. She would never… she couldn't… no, that's just an illusion…", he muttered, while searching in his drawer for something. 

He finally found it, and looked at it. It was an old picture of the ones, who got "outstanding" in the Defence Against the Dark Arts OWLs. There were Potter and Lupin, and some other Gryffindors. Nearly every one of the Ravenclaw grade, and a handful hufflepuffs. There weren't many slytherins, they're not so good at _defending_ the dark arts. He were nearly the only one. 

And then he saw her. On the border of the group stood a beautiful young girl, with dark thick red hair and green eyes.

"Lily Evans…" he whispered, as he stroked softly over the Photographie.

**N/A**: So, this would be cleared. Because I don't like this and the previous chapters, I'll write another tonight. 

But I just need things clear. 


	6. Dream

N/A: Well, thanks soo much for those reviews! I'm glad that you're honest, and critical reviews are the best. Yes, English isn't my first language. And I know, there will be a lot of mistakes in every chapter. I've done spell check (in every chap) but I don't know how to correct the grammar things. I'm sorry for this. I hope you're able to understand this anyway. 

Now, for mary sue hunter: yes, I know it seems as if just copying JKR's work. But in the first chapters I could orientate myself on her books, especially Ootp. But we don't know what happened to Snape after he called lily a mudblood. Well I guess, HE never apologized to her.

Disclaimer: still own nothing of the characters. (I just love them)

Next Morning Draco was allowed to leave the hospital wing to go to breakfast. He wasn't glad, though. It was a lot more comfortable to have brunch in his bead instead of cowering in a corner of the big house table of Slytherin. 

He got himself a seat were he had a good look to the Gryffindor table. He spend all his meals with watching them. It was kind of obsession. 

"Know what he gave us? A month detention! Can you believe this? One month, every evening, and it could be anything. Maybe we have to help Filch! This is terrible. I knew Snape was cruel, but this…", Harry said to his friends. The headmaster didn't expel them. But he left it to Snape to punish them. "And that's just because we wanted to have a little fun. If _Malfoy_ had done this to _us_…"

"Yeah, but _he_ hasn't done it to _you_, did he?", asked Hermione. She still was angry. They never seen her this alarmed. 

"'Mione, what do you mean? He has punished us the last five years! And now we have the chance for a revenge, and you're making trouble. He called you a.. you-know-what. Don't you think he has earned an object lesson?"

Hermione said nothing. Maybe Ron was right. He deserved it. He couldn't even thank her. 

She wondered why she cared so much. What did she expect? That he would fall to his knees and kiss her toes for saving him? No, of course he was too proud for this. But why did he have to say this? He could at least leave her alone…

She stood up and left the hall. She didn't know what to do. Her friends didn't understand her. She didn't understand it by herself. She felt strange when they're around. It wasn't this feeling of unbreakable friendship anymore. She just felt like their ways separated.

"Miss Granger! Miss Granger, can I have a word with you?"

Hermione turned to face her least favorite teacher. What would Snape have to talk with her?

"Come to my office, please. Take a seat." 

He was very polite, that was strange. Snape was never polite.

"Miss Granger," he cleared his throat loudly. Whatever he wanted to tell her, it was very difficult for him. "I've heard that you have come to defend Mr. Malfoy as he was attacked by your friends, Potter and Weasley, is this correct?"

What did he want to say? "Yes, I have."

"And, could you tell me… why did you tell Potter and Weasley to stop?"

She wouldn't have expected this. She didn't even know it by herself, but why did Snape bother? But the question was good. Why _did_ she do it, really? 

"Er.. I see it as my duty as a prefect–"

"So it's just because you're a prefect?", he looked quite disappointed and his voice got harsh again.

"I did it, because Malfoy didn't seem to defend himself. Maybe he wasn't able to, I'm not sure. It rather seemed to me…", she broke off. What was she talking about??

"Go on."

"he… it seemed as if he wouldn't care," then there was a long silence. "Maybe… Professor Snape?"

"Yes?"

"Erm.. Maybe you can answer this question… have you noticed that he has changed? I mean… no, just, forget it.. I'm sorry."

Snape didn't know if he should answer or not. What if she found out? "No, Miss Granger, go on. What d'you think?"

"It's just… I thought… Draco has been treated badly, not only by Harry and Ron. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but he was also beaten by the Slytherins. And I wondered… Why would they hate him, suddenly?"

"Miss Granger… I'm afraid I'm not allowed to answer this. But you can ask him yourself. Now, I still want to know the reason. Was it… pity?"

Why did Snape care? Was it pity? She just felt so angry when she saw Harry and Ron torturing Draco… Draco? Why Draco? It was Malfoy, right? The Malfoy, who called her mudblood.

"I-I'm.. it… Professor, I just don't know, what it was. Maybe it was pity. Yeah, this sounds ok, right? But you may rest assured that I'll never, never do this again.", her eyes got wet. 

"Why?", why did he even asked? He knew why. But he wanted to see the reaction. 

"Because… 'cause…" Hermione stood up and held her hands against her face. "I'm sorry", then she hurried out of the room.

'Great Severus. Just really great. Still bringing girls to cry, right?', thought Snape as he sat there alone again. But he knew what Draco had done to her, that she'll never save him again. He called her mudblood. 

He didn't really understand why girls had to cry just because of a word. It was just a word, what was the bad in it, anyway? Maybe he just said it, because he always said it. Maybe he was just used to it. Or he didn't want to lose his face in front of the school. No, Draco had lost his face a long time ago. But there were worse things. And just because of this word… 

Well anyway. It wasn't his problem, was it? His train had gone a long time ago. 

~o~0~o~

A large hall, could be the great hall, but without the four large house tables. There weren't much people. Just a little group of young people on the other side of the hall, whispering. He stood alone, freezing, and wondering what do do

A person went away from the group and walked towards him. It was a girl in his age. Red hair, green eyes. 

"Hello."

"H-hi!" he stuttered. "Who are you?"

She smiled at him. It was a kind, friendly smile. But she didn't answer. 

"Are you Draco Malfoy?"

"Y-y-es, yes, I a-am."

She smiled again. "Do you know a person who's called Severus Snape?"

Draco shivered. She knew Snape?

"Y-yes, h-he's my t-t-teacher."

The girl laughed. Suddenly she seemed a lot elder than him.

"Snivellus, a teacher?" she still laughed. "Well, anyway, what does he teach you?"

"He t-teaches Potions and Defence-"

"Against the Dark Arts? Strange… well, ok, this were his best lessons, but… the Dark Arts… he should've left his fingers from this position…" she muttered more to herself than to Draco.

Then she turned to Draco again: "So, I hope he's a good teacher. Is he fair??"

"Erm… He's fair to Slytherins," Draco smirked and the women laughed again. 

"So he still favours pure-bloods. Should've known… He will never change…", she muttered again, and it seems as if she were anywhere else. "Anyway, could you leave him a message from me?"

Draco just nodded.

"Tell him, that it has a reason if history repeats. Just tell him, will you?", the last words echoed through the hall, then the woman vanished and so did the hall.

Draco yelled after her: "Wait, wait, I don't know your name!" but he already sunk into dark emptiness.

~o~0~o~

Draco awoke. What a strange dream. He wondered who this woman was. Though her eyes were quite familiar. He didn't know but somehow he knew this eyes. 

If he should tell Snape? The women sounded serious, and it seemed to be urgent, but.. it was just a dream. Snape would laugh at him. He never believed in dream predictions. He don't believe that this was anything important. 

He looked out of the window. It was still dark outside, and he wondered what to do. He couldn't sleep. He wanted to do something. Today was Saturday, which means no lessons, and nothing to bother about. The 3 other boys in his dormitory were fast asleep. He'd never shared a room with Crabbe and Goyle, and now he was really glad he hadn't. The three other boys didn't like him anyway, but they don't go and beat him up just out of fun. They just ignored him.

He got dressed and then took a bag with some stuff for school in it, and as he went through the door and through an empty common room, he felt good. He could breath, he was free to do whatever he wanted. 

He went to the lake. He loved this place. It was now completely deserted. That was great.

'Who am I fooling? Yes, it's nice, it's quite, it's beautiful. But it doesn't feel good. It isn't good, sitting here outside, watching the lake and feeling… alone.'

This word had a great effect on Draco. He have been alone his hole live. Even if he was surrounded by people, he felt alone. No one shared his thoughts, his emotions, his tears, his happiness. 

'Oh, come off it, how depressing. Who needs a friend?'

_'I do.' _

He throw a stone into the lake. The lake gulped and it sank into the clear water. 

He didn't want to learn anything for school. Why should he? One, there would be no one who's proud of him, if he gets good marks, and two: he doesn't need good marks for a job, because he was quite sure that he'll die soon. He wondered if he would ever finish school. 

"Hope he'll kill me before N.E.W.T.s start.", he muttered and throw another stone into the lake.

"A little pessimistic, Mr Malfoy, don't you think?"

Draco winced in shock. He didn't notice anyone had come to join him. He clutched his chest and breathed hard. "Oh my god, Professor, you scared the shit out of me!" he said reproachfully. Since they talked in the hospital wing, he talked to Snape more like a father than a teacher.

"I'm sorry. So, what the hell are you doing at five o'clock in the morning at the lake?" asked Snape, looking rather pale.

"Couldn't sleep. Seems I'm not the only one," he looked at Snape for a short moment and then turned to the lake again. Snape set himself beside him. For anyone who would see them right now it would look more than strange. Severus Snape, the very least favorite teacher from everyone, known as slimy, greasy, filthy git, sat in the grass on the lakeside talking to his student.

"Draco…" he began, but he didn't really know what to say. He didn't know why he came here. When he awoke, he couldn't get back to sleep, and he thought he could spend some time alone, by the lake. It was his favorite place, but he didn't visit it very often anymore, since he was a teacher. But now he could use the time to talk to Draco. "You need help."

"What d'you mean?", acting the innocent wouldn't harm.

"You're awaiting death as if it would just knock at the door in this moment! Instead of that you're glad that you've survived the curse, you hope that your life is going to end as soon as possible. God, Draco, you're sixteen years old. It might sound cliché-like, but you've got your hole life in front of you. What the bloody hell is wrong with you??"

Draco was surprised about the sudden outburst of his teacher. He glared at him and thought about all the possible answers. 

"It doesn't make any sense, does it? Of course I could enjoy the last bit of my life, but honest: as soon as I'm out of Hogwarts, he'll kill me, don't you think? I've betrayed him. I've destroyed his plans. He won't be pleased, and this is why I'm searching for some safety here in Hogwarts. But I can't hide here forever."

"Why not? I've done it."

"You're not living," Draco snapped. He regret this at the very moment the words left his mouth. He thought Snape will turn away from him now, he expected him to get angry. But Snape thought about it and then sighted.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Of course it's not everyone's thing to live here in Hogwarts forever." 

Draco was perplexed.

"But, do me a favour, and don't get into trouble anymore. If he finds you, you can't do anything, but don't go and search for him."

They fell silent for a while, then Draco spoke: "I had a dream." Snape looked at him cunfused, but Draco went on "That's why I couldn't sleep anymore. I dreamed of a woman. And she said, she knows you."

Snape looked uncomfortable, but he listened excited. "Yeah? Who?"

"I don't know. She didn't say her name. But she said, you should've left your hand from the D.A.D.A position, and…"

Snape looked anxious. He didn't believe in dreams either, but maybe… 

"… then she talked something about history repeating itself, and it has a reason…" Draco watched his teachers face going paler and paler. 

"H-how did she look like?"

"She had dark read hair and vivid green eyes." 

Snape looked like fainting. "Professor… are you alright?"

"Y-yes, yes, of course… just… just have to … kinda sort things out." Snape looked bewildered as he stood up and went towards the castle, muttering to himself. 

A/N: I still want reviews, even if you tell me that you hate it. ;-) (but I admit that I like those who tell me that its good a little bit more)


	7. Help

Disclaimer: I've got news: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! right? good.

Thanks to my dearest reviewers! I love you all! 

This time, Draco sat with the back to the Gryffindor table on breakfast. He would like nothing better than ignore them. But that wasn't easy. He found himself looking over his shoulder to the three Gryffindors a couple of times.

He wanted to stand up, go over there and just use one of the unforgivable curses on them. 

He imagined Harry wincing on the floor, screaming and pleading him to stop.

He imagined Ron going up to the north tower, standing on top and jumping down the grounds, and in the last moment he's got his own mind, screaming, his voice full of angst. Draco smirked.

He imagined Hermione, lying on the floor, her usual vivid eyes blank, her face pale, her body cold. Her hair still surrounding her beautiful face, her lips still full and red. The thought made him wince, and suddenly a cold shiver ran through his body. He frowned and tried to get rid of the sudden coldness inside him, but at this moment he felt just like throwing up. 

He left the hall hastily and hurried to the next boys toilet. He sat down in the darkest corner and borrowed his head in his arms. 

'I'm just tired, I've just had too less sleep, this night…', he kept pretending to himself. But when he closed his eyes the image of the dead Hermione appeared to him again. 

She looked just as beautiful as ever, but her eyes… her eyes showed this nothing. It scared him. It scared him, what his mind could do to him. 

Draco was just about to stand up and pull himself together, as he heard someone talking to him.

Dracos head shoot up and he faced Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle and some other Slytherins.

"Oh, what's that? Is my cute little Draco-darling crying?? D'you need a handkerchief?", Pansy asked in faked concern.

"Hey, Pansy, haven't you realized that this is a _boys toilet_?"

"Oh come off it, Draco. Theres no-one here expect you, and me, and some of our old friends. Kinda romantic, isn't it?"

Draco chuckled. Was this a new kind of torturing him? "Oh, yeah Pansy, I always wanted to shag you in presence of Crabbe and Goyle!"

She walked towards him, her eyes locked with his, and then turning to whisper in his ear.

"Pity, Draco. We could've done so fabulous. We were the perfect pair, weren't we?" Her voice have got dangerously sweet. 

She pressed her lips against him before he could answer this. It wasn't a passionate kiss, though. To her, it was just the bittersweet taste of a memory. A memory of another Draco Malfoy. 

"Pity you're a traitor", she said, and Draco felt her knee in his stomach. He held his arm over his stomach protective, but he knew that this had no sense at all. Soon the others were over him, and he slipped into a state of trance where he didn't feel the pain so much. 

Draco ran his tongue over his lip. There was the bitter taste of his blood. he couldn't see much, because his left eye was swollen, and from his right eyebrow trickled blood drops. His hands shook badly, and he couldn't control the nervous twitching from his feet. He didn't dare to move, because he felt that some of his ribs were broken. 

He has often been tortured by them, but it was never this bad. He closed the one eye he could still move. 

He wondered, why they hit him like muggles. They could just do a curse on him, this would be less work to do.

But maybe Crabbe and Goyle were just to stupid for this.

He heard that the door was pushed open. No. Not again. Couldn't they just leave him?

He could hear someone gasp. He wondered who had come in, seems it wasn't Pansy and company. 

He tried to open his eyes and sit up, but it hurt to badly. he managed to get a glimpse of a long-haired girl standing in front of him in shock.

"Hey, in case you haven't realized: THIS IS A BOYS TOILET! GET OUT!", he've had enough of this people, who were just standing there watching him, but didn't do anything against it. 

But the girl didn't get out. She walked towards him and began to examine his wounds carefully.

"Haven't you understand me? If you are in a boys toilet, that means, that there are just _boys_ allowed to be in here. Hey, stop it! Leave me!"

"Malfoy, you need help. Or d'you prefer to die here on the floor?" a just to familiar voice hissed unfriendly.

"God, Granger Mudblood! From all people in Hogwarts why the hell did _you_ come here?"

"Oh, I'm really sorry you can't pick out the ones you want to be saved."

"In case you've forgotten this: you've promised never to help me again."

"And now I'm breaking my promise, if you have anything against it, it's your problem, because I won't leave you on the floor dying."

"And if I tell you to?"

"Don't be stupid, you're not in the position to tell me anything."

"Mudblood"

"Stupid git."

"Grang- aaah!" he began, and then screamed out in pain. She just touched one of his ribs to hard.

"See? You need help. I'll bring you to the hospital wing."

"No! How d'you think am I able to move there?"

"You'll fly."

"Are you CRAZY?"

"What?"

"There's no way you're lifting me up in the air with your wand! You bitch, that's a trap I know it, you'll let me crash down to earth, right?"

Hermione laughed. "Oh god, Dra- Malfoy, I didn't know you're such a coward. And now don't get hysterical! You're a little paranoid, aren't you?"

"I'm too heavy for this curse, I'm sure this won't work!"

"God, Draco, you aren't to heavy for this. The last time I did this, it worked fabulous! And now you're even more skinny than the last time you fainted!"

"… This was also you?"

Hermione realized that she maybe had talked a little to much. 

"Now shut up and leave this to me." she said, and then lifted his body up. Draco didn't feel well. He struggled, and then fell to the floor again. Thank god, he just fell an inch. 

"I knew it! You're not able to move my body."

"I would! If you weren't struggling and fighting against it!! Now, either you're keeping still or I'll knock you out!"

"OK OK, I'll keep still!"

She just began to lift him up again as he began to speak again.

"But you're not taking me through the hole school now! There's no way, if anyone sees this! I'm a Malfoy, I just can't be trailed through the air by Mudblood Granger!!"

"I think you haven't got any reputation left, so no one will care. Anyway, I'll take you through a hidden passageway, and no one will see us."

"Fine. And if…"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW!"

Draco felt silent, Hermione seemed to loose her nerve. 

After a while going through a dark passageway to the hospital wing, Hermione talked again.

"Know what? I'm impressed. You're injured as badly that you can't even move, but you're able to insult me anyway. I'm really impressed."

"Granger, whats that now? Making me compliments?? Stalking for me??", he teased. On his face was a smirk.

"You wish.", she said with an evil grin, and they finally reached the hospital wing. 

Madam Pomfrey gasped at the sight of Draco, when Hermione knocked at the door of her office and said she had a present for her.

She took Draco to a bed and began immediately nursing him. 

Hermione left the hospital wing sighing.

A/N: Hey you guys there! I hope you like this chapter. I enjoyed writing it, so I hope you enjoyed reading. It has no really sense at all, it's just to show, that the two of them still like insulting each other. But love and hate are never far apart. ;-)

Anyway, leave me a review!


	8. Potions

Disclaimer: don't own them. 

Thanks, again, to my dearest reviewer. 

Katya: My first language is German. I don't like writing in german so much, there are a lot of words which sound much better in english. I have written some german fanfiction (not Harry Potter, though), but I didn't like it so much.   
And by the way: since my mum knows, that I'm writing story's she's eager to read them. And if she finds out next, that I write about HP, the only reason to keep her from reading it is the fact that they're in English. ;-)

Malferz: I'm afraid I didn't get what you mean. I mean, we already know, that he _don't_ loves her. don't we? well, anyway, I know I should really get along with the love story in it. but… what shall I say? I love it if they hate each other.. ;-) No, honest, Snape'll tell Draco in time about his own past, but not yet, because I've had this idea… bla, you guys read. 

"You know, you really should do something against it, this is the thirty second time you're visiting Madam Pomfrey,"

Draco recognized Snapes voice from the end of his bed. He smirked. 

"Glad to see you're still alive, Mr Malfoy."

"I think you're the only one who's that opinion."

"Nah, that's not true, is it? It seems as if some people would care, or you wouldn't lie in one of the hospital wings beds."

There was something true in this sentence. 

"Great, what do I want mudblood granger to care? Maybe she thought of getting some extra housepoints." He rolled his eyes in annoyance. 

"Did you two have a little argument?"

"Girls never shut up." 

"Yeah, that's true. And they're very sensitive about what you call them." Snape looked at Draco as if he expected something from him.

Why did he look at him in this way?

"What do you mean, Sir?"

"I? I don't mean anything!", Snape smiled at him as if he was innocence himself. 

"Well, anyway, Mr Malfoy, I'm here to tell you that you're free to go back to your dormitory or stay here over night. I expect you back to class tomorrow morning." 

Tomorrows first lessons were potions. With Gryffindor. "Great!" 

He wasn't looking forwards to this lessons. one, there were the three Gryffindors, who were annoying him with their only presence and two Snape was giving him a hard time. 

He was still his favorite student, but he couldn't show it, because no one knew Snape was a traitor himself. Well, Harry, Ron, Hermione, McGonagall and Dombledore did, but they couldn't show either.

He went into the potions class and took a seat at the very end of it. Maybe he would just ignore him. 

"Good morning, students," Snapes usual cold and sniffed voice called through the room. 

"Today, we're going to mix a difficult potion. I'm afraid some of you won't manage this. So I'm going to pare you."

The class sighted. Who know's who's Snape going to pare up? 

In the end it wasn't this bad. He most mixed Slytherins with Slytherins and Gryffindors with Gryffindors. Unfortunately, one Gryffindor and one Slytherin were left over. And those two were Hermione and Draco. 

Hermione mumbled and seat herself next to Draco. 

"I knew he hates me, but I didn't know it is _that_ bad!", she whispered.

"Miss Granger, 10 points from Gryffindor, for talking without permission."

Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but knew better. 

"Now, what I was about to say, before Miss Granger interrupted me, today we'll do changing potions. I'll tell you later what effects it has. - Potter, Weasley, 20 points from Gryffindor, for not listening to a teachers word - Now follow the instructions on the blackboard" and as he told so, the words appeared.

"You'll cut the oak roots while I'm mixing-"

"Professor Snape, why had you to put me together with Granger?", Draco called loudly after his teacher, apparently annoyed.

"10 points from Slytherin because you challenged the authority of a teacher. And I put you together because I think you two are a very cute pair. You fit perfectly together, _honestly_," Snape snarled. 

"But…" Draco had stand up by now, and Snapes eyes glowed dangerously.

"And detention tonight, you come to my office after dinner," he said coldly and turned his back to them.

Hermione took the sleeve of Draco's robe and pulled him back into his chair.

"Better not arguing with him. He don't likes that."

"Shut up, Granger, and don't tell me anything about Snapes behavior!"

Hermione looked at him enquiring.

"10 points from Slytherin for talking too much and 20 from Gryffindor, because starting the conversation," said Snape coolly while looking down his nails. "And another 40 points from Gryffindor for looking as if they were going to giggle and for breathing too loudly. Yeah, Potter, I know. Life's not fair. I guess you all have something to do."

Of course Slytherins weren't happy about loosing points in their only lesson, where they usually never did. But otherwise it gave them one more reason for torturing Draco. 

"He's such a stupid fucking filthy prick, I hate him!" Hermione muttered to herself while mixing the potion. 

The blonde Slytherin said nothing, but glared at her dangerously. 

"So, time'll soon be up, you'll finish this potions as a homework until next lesson."

Hermione and Draco moaned. 

"And as an extra work for Miss know-it-all Granger and Mister the-world-is-not-fair Malfoy, you two will find out what this potion does, you'll take it and you'll tell your class the experience next potion lesson."

Then they were released.

Hermione looked at Draco. "Half past four, tomorrow, library?"

"Ok." he mumbled and then left.

Detention with Snape - nice one. 

After dinner, Draco hurried to Snape's office. 

"Good evening, Professor."

"Ah, yes. Sit down. You'll be helping me with a new potion. I've just found out about it. Now, replace the snake eyes from their hole's I will be needing those… and the end of the snake, but just the very last inch. Chop it until it is a fine powder."

Draco looked at a dead, and very dry snake. He sniffed and then began to work. A little while both of them didn't speak, then Draco asked: "Is there any chance for me to find out why you put me together with Granger in today's group work?"

Snape looked at him. one moment he thought about it, then he simply said.

"Yes. Maybe, you'll understand in time."

Draco rolled his eyes. Couldn't he speak openly?

"Do you know anything I should also know?"

"Yes, I do. But I'm not going to tell it to you, not now, not tonight. Understood?"

Draco remained silent. What did he mean? He didn't understand this.

'As if there would be anything important about Hermione and me… I mean, Granger. Granger, not Hermione.'

A/N: Yeah, I'm still begging for a review! 


	9. Inquiries

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and all those Characters aren't from my mind. I'm just able to write ordinary storys about them. Everything belongs to Joanne Kathleen Rowling.

The next afternoon, Draco walked into the library. It was 4.50 until he finally got there.

"I thought I said half past four. You think twenty minutes more or less aren't important?"

"No. Not for - _'people'_ like you."

Hermione rolled her eyes in annoyance. He would never stop to tease her. 

"Well, for "people like me" it _is_ important." She threw a book in front of him. "And now read this through. There should be something about the changing potion. It's also called: "Levechsdrank" I've added the last ingredients, the potion just need to rest now an hour, then we can fill it into a bottle."

"And what do you do, while I'm reading this book?"

"I'm watching you work?"

"And why do you think you're allowed to watch ME working while YOU'RE doing NOTHING?"

"Because I'll have now 20 minutes to rest. And this 20 minutes are those which you needed to come down to earth."

He looked at her. Argh, how he hated her. She looked at him innocently, and just smiled at him. But her chocolate eyes were filled with angry sparkles and showed how much pissed off she was. 

He sat down and opened the book, flicking through the pages and searching for the Levechsdrank. 

Hermione kept watching him. She still was angry about how this arrogant prat let her every minute know that her parents are muggles. 

His tongue ran over his lower lip and his eyes showed concentration. A single streak of his neatly sleeked back hair fell into his forehead. His blonde hair was shorter then it was in their previous years. 

His eyes, still fixed on the paper were grey, and icy. Everytime she looked at them a cold shiver ran through her body. 

Hermione wondered why his face was still unscarred expect one star in his eyebrow. It looked quite sexy.

''Minoe, what d'you think? Malfoy? Sexy? that's a contradiction in terms.'

But she still wondered why he'd left this scar. 

"Are twenty minutes over?"

Hermione startled by the sound of his voice, but then looked at her clock. "Yeah, I think so. Why?"

"I've found something."

"OK, let me see."

Hermione stood up and leaned forward to look over Draco's shoulder to the book in front of them. 

Draco's finger ran over the paper and showed her the paragraph.

_"The Levechsdrank, simply called changing potion, was first used in 708. It was developed by a royal potions master. He wanted to end the endless fight between his queen, Bianca II, and his king, Georg IV. The two of them always complained that the other would have an easy life._

_As they both drunk it, they were caught in the other ones mind for 24 hours. _

_The Levechsdrank don't affect the mind, but you can see everything out of the sight of the other one, you feel what the other one feels, and you can hear the other ones thoughts." _

Silence between them.

Their Hermione spoke: "Do you think he's serious?"

"'Bout what?"

"He said, we have to try the drank out. That means we have to change our minds."

"No! There's no way I let you in my head!"

"Malfoy…", Hermione rolled her eyes. She did it very often in Draco's presence.

"No, I'm serious. I won't show you my day! That's none of your business. And we're not this odd couple in this summary. And I don't want to see what you're doing the hole day!"

"Draco, do you know that you're freaking out a bit right now?"

"Yeah, I'm totally aware of this… why'd you call me Draco?"

"What?"

"Nothing. I mean, hey, do you think this is normal? No, I really don't want you inside there!" he pointed to his head hysterically.

"OK. I think I've got the point. Go to Snape and complain, if you're eager to loose more points for your house…"

"I won't. D'you stay here, or do you join me?"

"Join you? You're not serious, are you? You want to go to Snape? Nope, forget it."

"Ok, Granger. I don't know if I have mentioned it, but I FUCKING DON'T WANT YOUR MIND IN MY BRAIN!"

"Would it be possible to calm down a bit?"

"No, it wouldn't. Not until Snape has told me, this was just a joke. Now are you coming?"

Hermione thought about it, but Draco hurried already to the exit of the library, and she decided to follow him.

As they reached the door, Draco knocked on the door impatiently. 

"Enter", the familiar voice of Snape said.

As he looked up and saw Draco and Hermione he smirked.

"Ah, didn't I say that you were the perfect pair? My, my, my, how cute, have you two just made a walk and thought about visiting your favorite teacher?", he said sneering.

In this moment Draco just wished to choke him. He was really terrible if they weren't just the two of them.

"We're here to talk about the potions work you gave us," Draco finally said.

"Yeah? What is it?" he asked innocently.

"I-i… We won't need to do this, right?"

He looked in the air in faked thoughtfulness. "Well, I thought I said that you have to use it, and then talk about the experience, right? And now, _why_ shouldn't I mean this?"

"Because you can't leave her in my head!"

"No, Mister Malfoy, I'm afraid that you're wrong. I can, and I'm going to do this. Or better _you_ are going to do this. Because this is your homework. It's just a day, why are you so upset anyway? Granger didn't complain. Well, she didn't say a word since she stepped in here. You sure want to watch Mister Malfoys day, don't you?"

"erm… actually…", Hermione thought about it. She would like the mystery about him, and this would maybe show her why the Slytherins hate him. But he would also be able to watch her the hole day. No, she didn't want this. "No, I don't like the idea either. I mean, there are things that boy shouldn't see in the day of a girl, right?"

"Like what?", Snape said bored.

"Like having a shower."

"Don't have a shower."

Hermione sighed. Why was he so eager to let them see in the other minds? 

"Do we know that the other one is in our minds?"

"No. It would take the hole fun," Snape smirked again. How evil could a man alone be?

"So how should I know that I should not take a shower if Malfoy's in my head?"

Snape rolled his eyes. "Are you so stupid? Well, what a question, of course you are. You can just leave yourself a message. Or tell your "friends" to stop you."

"Well.. ok, but-"

"Now listen you two, and listen carefully because I'm just saying this once. You're taking your potion tonight, you need to take it in the others presence so I would say you just meet before you go to bed. When you awake, you will either not know anything from this drank and just have a normal day or you'll be in the mind of the other one. It's the amazing in it, that you're mind's split into two separate pieces. And at the end of the day, when you'll be about to going to bed, you'll have your own mind alone for yourself again."

Draco and Hermione opened their mouths but Snape interrupted them.

"No, you'll do this. You're forced to. Because both of you two would like to stay in this school, don't you?" He looked deep into Draco's eyes. 

Draco gasped, spun around and hurried out of the room. He was furious. This felt so much like abuse. He was forced to do this. He couldn't go home again. He have to stay in Hogwarts.

Draco run into the dungeons, into the full Slytherin common room ('ups, forgot that I don't like it here when it's full') and into his dormitory. He threw himself on the bed. He had to leave himself a note. a note, that tomorrow morning, Hermione Granger will be sitting in his head and watching everything he does. And he shouldn't do anything… important. After writing himself this, and calming down a bit, he felt like he's just forgotten something. Ah, yes, right, the potion. He hurried out of the dormitory, through the common room ('still full, but I don't have time to let them get me') so he broke into a run and finally reached the library. Pity it was closed by now. 

'Great. And where am I supposed to find Miss Mudblood now?'

Draco didn't really know were the Gryffindor common room was. He just knew the direction, and so he strolled out to find Hermione.

'I just hope I'll meet someone. Anyone. I'm not going to stay here all night and waiting till Granger has got the kindness to show up.'

Just at that moment, he ran into someone. no, actually in two people. And, yes, of course, what a lucky day, it were non other than Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter.

Draco wasn't eager to ask them for Hermione, but he also wasn't eager to stand here the hole night long.

"Hey, Malfoy, what d'you do up here? That's Gryffindortower. G-R-Y-F-F-I-N-D-O-R!" Harry spoke to him as if he were a 3 year old little baby. "And you, you, Malfoy, are in S l y t h e r i n. Do you know what that means?" he spoke very soft and slowly, and Draco's colour in the face went from red to purple.

"That means, Malfoy, that you should not be here. Have you understand this?"

"No, I'm sorry, Potter, I don't understand this. If gross, filthy, stupid and slimy people like you can be up here, why shouldn't I?"

"Because we tell you to." Harry's tone fell, and it has got dangerous deep know.

"Uuuuuh, I'm really scared. _Negaveb_!"

Both of them froze in mid-air. Though they couldn't move their legs and stuff, their eyes still moved and they could still speak. 

"Malfoy, you damn, skulking, nasty, ugly, slimy, scuzzy -" as Harry's breath faded, Ron continued to insult him.

"-grotty, sick, cocky, craven, filthy, fucking bas-"

"Now, are you finished?" Draco said in a bored voice. "Where's Granger?"

"Why do you want to speak with her?"

"None of your business. I would release you, if you show me where I can find her…"

"What do you want from Hermione?"

"Potter, did I just say that it's nothing to _YOU_?"

"I think it _is_ something to me, because Hermione is our friend, and if you ever do anything, _anything_ to her…"

"Now, what's up here?"

"Hermione!", three male voices called when they saw her walking towards them. 

"Yes, I'm aware that this is my name. What was it this time? And why the hell are you standing here unmovable? _mobile_!"

They both stopped being a speaking statue and pointed their wands immediately at Draco. 

"Why does this prat want to speak with you?"

"Potions. Remember? Extra Work?", Hermione answered bluntly.

"Wow, Granger, you remember this? So why the hell am I searching for you for an hour know?"

"Oh, you've been searching for me? What an _honour_! Well, I thought, I'd better leave you alone a bit, because, if I may remind you, it was you who stormed -" Draco shot her a deadly glance. The last thing he wanted was Potter to know that he was a maniac. 

"Anyway. I've got it here. Harry, Ron, it is ok. Don't kill me with your glances. Go up to the common room, I'll join you soon, right?"

As Harry and Ron walked back to the common room, Hermione took out a bottle and handled it to Draco. "Just one gulp, right?"

Draco took the bottle, and drank the liquid in there. It felt bitter, and it burned in his oesophagus. He felt dizzy and tired. He could see Hermione take the bottle too and swallowing the rest.

Draco felt like he really need a bed now. So he turned and walk to his dormitory, and so did Hermione. 

A/N: Did you like it? Did you hate it? Do you have useful critic? Do you have not useful critic? I don't care, just leave me a sentence. 


	10. Seeing Through Masks

I'm soooo terribly sorry that I haven't updated for so long [8 days?]!  
I've had a … let's call it a personal problem, in which, I'm sure, you're not very interested. Anyway, I couldn't really write, the words just didn't come out. I'm sorry again.

to make it clear:  
everything that's in ' ' - this signs, is the thought of the really person, wich is in her body. Everything in * * is the mind of the other one (which means, the mind, thoughts… from the person that should usually NOT be in the other ones mind. ;-)

I'm sorry for changing that, I usually had it cursive, but it won't take it.. o_O anyway I hope you understood this. 

ups, I've forgotten the Disclaimer. So, I don't make money with this, and I don't own the characters. I would like to, but I don't think that JK or Warner Bros. would give them to me. Pity.

Hermione woke with a start. 

She stared at the ceiling of the four-poster.

Woah, she really had a nightmare. She didn't know what kind of, but it must've been terrible. She stroked over her chest to stop her heart from pounding.

She looked at her watch, and found that it was half past five in the morning. Hermione stood up and went to have a shower, but then she saw a note on her bed. it was her own handwriting.

**do not have a shower, and please, please, please change your clothes in the dark. **

Hermione

Hermione wondered why she shouldn't, but she was sure that she had a really good reason to write this.

So she dressed in the dark, washed herself quickly and went down in the common room to read a bit. 

Hermione woke with a start.

She stared at the ceiling of the four-poster. 

Woah, she really had a nightmare.

She dreamed that she would be in Malfoys mind, and would watch him his hole day long. That would be terrible. 

She turned aside to watch at her alarm-clock.

She had an alarm-clock? And why the hell was everything green??

Memories flushed back in her mind, and she remembered that what happened yesterday was no dream. 

_*That would mean… I'm in the head of Draco Malfoy.*_

Draco stood up and quickly watched a note he laid down the evening before to the left side of his bed.

**do not do anything stupid or suspicious. **

**Act like there would be someone watching you. **

**A l l   t h e   t i m e!**

"Why am I writing something? Paranoia?" Draco muttered and shook his head. then he turned to the bathroom and washed his face.

Hermione could feel the icy water on her skin. No, it wasn't her skin, right? 

Draco however, didn't seem to care. He dried his face with a towel and looked at his face in the mirror. 

Some wet hair streaks hung in his forehead. Hermione realized that his hole hair weren't styled, and she thought he looked a lot better without his hair styled.  He brushed his teeth briefly and them put a lot of hair styling products in his silver-blond hair. 

_*Pity.*_

'Why would anyone watching me? it doesn't make sense, maybe with an invisible-cloak. But I really doubt, that Potter would sneak into my dorm and watch me taking a shower. And why the hell aren't I able to remember myself writing that note?'

First Hermione thought Draco was speaking to himself, but then she realized that this were his thoughts. 

Suddenly a rush of excitement  flooded her. She could hear what he thought? that was brilliant. She would have grinned but as she hadn't a body, and no face, she couldn't. It was somewhat strange. 

Anyway Draco finished and began to dress himself. When he put the pj from his body, Hermione realized that the upper part of his body was full of bruises. He flinched as he put a black sweatshirt above his body. Hermione felt pain. It was the strangest thing in the world: how could she feel pain if she didn't have a body? It was Draco's body, and she wondered why Draco still stood there. 

If she would have had such injuries, she wouldn't stand up. She wouldn't move. She would try to jinx it, Hermione wondered if Madam Pomfrey couldn't help him. 

But Draco just grimaced and put his robe on. 

Again, he looked in the mirror.

'Why d'you grimace, huh? The must not see that they did hurt you. I know you want to go back to bed. I know, you want to never face them again. But you have no choice. Now don't loose the last bit of pride which is left. You are not showing them weakness. They will stop it. Sometime… anytime, they'll stop it. Just don't give them this confirmation.'

His real face fell. 

He put up a mask. A cold smirk hushed over his face. 

He turned away and left his dorm.

Draco was bored. All he could do was read this book. He had read it before. A lot of times. He knew every word of it. 

He had awoke in the sleeping dormitory of the girls in Gryffindor. It had took him a while to realize where he was, but then everything went fine. Expect, that this girl was really boring. Why did she wake up so early just to read?

"'Mione!", a boy called her. "We're going down, join us?"

It was definitely this red-head… Weasly. 

"Erm… no, I think I'm going to finish this chapter. I'll eat something later."

"k, whatever. Harry, let's go."

Potter and Weasly left. Hermione sighted.

She was already at the end of this chapter. She closed the book.

'Great. Mione, why don't you join them? Do you really prefer the loneliness over them?'

Draco was surprised. Then he remembered that he could read her mind. 

*And why DON'T you join them?*

'Because they don't care, do they? It's all the same if I'm there or not. I'm just sick of being ignored.'

_*What is your problem?*?_ Draco wanted to shout to her. *_They just had asked you to join them! How can you say that they ignore you? And anyway, ignorance is better then violence, isn't it?*_

Hermione stood up and walked down the great hall.

She took place next to Harry.

Ron and Harry were, again, in a discussion about Quidditch with Seamus and Dean.

Well of course, she could just join the conversation, but she hadn't got anything to say.

"It was just gorgeous how Moore shot the Quaffle right through Johnson, don't you think?" Harry started. Again. Wasn't there ANY other topic than the last recent Quidditch championship?

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it myself. Really _gigantic_!", Hermione mocked him.

All four of them looked at her irritable for a moment, and then turned away, still talking.

Hermione sighed. Yeah, this was exactly the reaction she always got.

'Do not disturb boy's discussion.' Hermione noted in her mind. 

She began to poke in her plate and eat a little bit before getting to her lessons.

Draco didn't feel like company, so instead of joining the others in the great hall, he sneaked down in the kitchens.

"Hello Dobby."

"Good morning Master Draco, sir. What can Dobby do for you?"

"Just a little breakfast. I could do with a coffee."

Dobby vanished, and Draco sat down on a chair. He felt quite tired. The last attacks still hurt him, and he wondered, if they would leave him at least today alone. 

Then he thought about his own note. Why would anyone watch him? And who would watch him? 

He didn't felt comfortable with this thought. 

'What if they see how they treat me? What if they realize _why_ they treat me? No, I can't afford anyone to find this out.'

_*WHY?? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN??*_ Hermiones mind screamed at him. She knew, he wouldn't hear, but she felt like bursting out.

Dobby arrived with his coffee and a muffin, and as Draco finished his breakfast, Dobby smiled at him.

"Did you like it, Master Draco, sir?"

"It was very good, thank you Dobby," Draco answered politely and smiled at Dobby. He sighed again and then said quiet: "You know, I think the best thing that ever happened to the two of us was that you left the manor. I couldn't imagine any other than you bringing me my coffee," he winked at him and then left, the smile on his face faded as he turned out of the kitchen.

Hermione was surprised. She never thought that he would be so politely to an elf. It was just an unimportant servant, well, less than a servant to people like him. At least, Hermione thought so. But then… *_who or what are 'people like him'?*_

The morning went well, both were just quietly sitting in the last corner of the classroom, learning their lessons, and didn't bother the others with their presence. 

Draco was lucky. He didn't met any Slytherins out of class, so they didn't bother him too much. 

At lunch he took his seat at the very end of the table, eager to sit as far away from Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle and co. as possible. 

He looked to the Gryffindor table. 

'Damn. Why do I look this way? People could think I'm interested in those..those… people.' Draco thought angrily. 

He couldn't take his eyes from Harry and Ron, who were making fun of themselves. Again. 

Draco rolled his eyes. 

Then he noticed, that Hermione wasn't there. 

'What's up? She is near them, every time! Usually…'

*I wonder why he even notices me.. or better me not being there.*

'But maybe she is studying again in the library. Odd bookworm…'

*Oh, right, sorry for caring for my grades! I do not have a father who's buying me everything!*

Draco smiled at the thought of her, but Hermione was to upset to take care, and he didn't realize it, because he didn't want to. 

Hermione sat in the library. She didn't feel hungry, so she just let lunch out and did some homework.

*How can ONE SIMILAR human do nothing than study??*

Hermione threw her books away from her, as if she just heard Draco saying this.

Then she sighed, leaning her head against her hands.

"That doesn't make any sense… I'm learning topic that's used to come to N.E.W.T.s, and I'm only in my sixth year! I should really stop this shit… I'm annoyed by myself."

*Yeah, I'm annoyed by you too. You could go outside.*

Lavender Brown went into the library. Hermione looked up and greeted her friendly.

"Hi, Lavender."

"Hey, Hermione. Aren't you studying?", she looked questionable at the closed books in front of her.

"I was… but it's bullshit, I can't learn the hole day long."

Lavender laughed heartily. "I always thought you could. Whatever, wanna do a walk with me?"

"'course…"

*What do they do if the 'do a walk'? Does anyone understand GIRLS? I thought the most boring thing is studying, but … please? they walk?*

Hermione stood up and the two of them walked out to the grounds. 

"Lavender… can I ask you something? I mean… Parvati and you.. you always know whats going on in Hogwarts so I just wondered…"

Lavender blushed. "D'you think so? Ok, what do you want to know? Anything about Harry or Ron? Do you want us to spy on them? I always wanted to find out if one of them has feelings for you. Do you think they -"

"Lavender! Calm down, it's none of them. I wondered if you know something about Draco." "Malfoy," she added as she saw Lavenders face.

"Malfoy? You want to know something about Malfoy?"

*Yeah, Brown's right! You want to know something about MALFOY? Are you sick? Leave me alone, silly girl!*

"Yeah, Lavender, and stop staring at me like I would have three heads. I just wondered -"

"Stop stop stop! Hermione, why do you want to know anything about a MALFOY? We speak about the Malfoy who calls you Mudb-"

"OK! I know what he calls me! I know it, ok?? I'm just curious, ok? I just wanted to know if you have noticed something…"

*STOP sticking your nose in things which are none of your business!*

"WEll… now, that you mentioned it… The other Slytherins don't seem to like him anymore, do they? But… I don't know why. And to be honest, I'm not very interested in it. I mean, if they give him pounding, it can only do good!"

Hermione looked at her sharply.

"Ok, I see you don't know more than I do," she snapped and turned away. 

"Hermione, wait. I want to know why you're interested in this git!"

"I do not think, that this is any of your business, but If you want to know… I found him a couple of times being in a terrible state. He've had enough pounding. I think, he's on the edge. I just don't want him to break."

With that, she left an slightly understanding Lavender and took a totally confused Draco with her.

*I'm NOT about to break! She doesn't understand anything! Why does she even care? I would do her a favour if I would vanish from her world!*

Everyone went down to dinner after finishing their afternoon lessons. Even Hermione had to eat something, so she followed Harry and Ron in the great hall. 

She glanced from house-table to house-table. Hermione was great at watching other people. But recently she did often catch herself stealing a look at the Slytherin-table more often. 

'Here we are, again. And Draco Malfoy is sitting alone at the very end of the table.' 

But at this though Hermione took her fork and banged it at her head. 'Stop thinking about him, just stop it!', she thought angrily. 

"Hermione, er… Do you need to go to the hospital wing?"

Harry and Ron looked at her. She never acted that strange.

'Wow, my friends start to care about me… It seems they only notice me if they think I'm in danger. Unfortunately for them, they don't have any sense for what is dangerous and what is not.' she thought still angry.

"Leave me alone. I'm fine," she answered quickly, not wasting another look at the two of them. And trying not to look at Malfoy too. 

But latter was rather not successful.

Suddenly cold icy-grey eyes met gentle brown ones. 

Hermione noticed again that he had just this single scar on his eyebrow left.

She found herself longing to touch his scar, longing to stroke over it gently, healing it, healing him…

'Hermione, what do you think you're doing?', she brought herself back to her mind.

Draco broke the contact, Hermione wondered if he knew what she just thought…

*Oh yes, and if he doesn't know by know, I'll make sure he'll know tomorrow! Oh my God, what's up with this girl? What's wrong with her?*

The other Draco Malfoy, the one who was sitting on the other side of the great hall and still was inside his body , didn't think this way.

'Why is she watching me? Why is she following me? And why the hell did my stomach give a jolt when she looked at me as if she was looking right through those eyes of mine, right through my mask…'

What d'you think? Am I finally going on with the romance in it? I'm begging for your review. *goes to her knees and cadges*

It did occur to me, that they could have wrote in their note everything they wanted. Of course, they could have written:  
**You've taken a potion and now Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy is watching the day in your point of view. She will be able to notice everything you notice.   
**But… like Sevy said: it would take the fun, wouldn't it? Let's say they just didn't see this way (yes, of course, they are both the smartest peoples in their schools, but… argh, just forget it. ;-)


	11. Nice Conversation

A/N: Hey guys! thanks for the reviews, you're the best! 

My father recently seems to be very interested for what I'm writing on the computer the hole day long. So he always asks me how my "romance novel" (he calls it that, and I'm not going to tell him more than: "I write a love story.") is going. But today he clearly went crazy:

At lunch: "So, flea (that's what he calls me, he's the only one who does so, and I'm used to it. I just translated it, he calls me "Floehle"), am I going to turn up in your romance novel?"

My hole family had a good laugh at this, I was nearly lying on the floor as I asked him: "Have you gone crazy?" (to my German speaking reader: [Lisi, I know you're there!] "Was tuat's dir?")

lol, my father is some kind of very strange old man. 

I'm sorry for this, I'm sure you want to read the next chapter, so go on. ;-)

ah, well, Disclaimer, I don't own anything, and I'm not making money with this. 

Nice conversation 

Draco was on his way back to his dormitory.

Unfortunately, on the other side of the corridor he saw Crabbe and Goyle, looking rather combative.

He tried to hide himself in a dark corner, but they'd already seen him.

"Hello Draco." Crabbe sneered. "We've had a little less exercises today, you know? And I wondered if you wouldn't like to help us a little out… as a target." Crabbe smirked and Goyle laughed loudly.

"Shove off! If I would have an IQ like you I wouldn't talk big. I'm not sure if you recognize the difference between the target and the wall." he said calmly.

"Hear, hear, someone wants to provoke us. C'mon Crabbe, I've seen a nice toilet where Draco's head would perfectly fit in."

When Crabbe took a step forward, Draco pushed his fist in his stomach and tried to run away, but Goyle was faster and grabbed his arm.

"You'll stay here."

Draco considered his chance. He could scream, but no-one would hear him expect Slytherins, and they didn't care.

*Why don't they care? They are supposed to care! He is in need for someone, why isn't anyone coming this way?*

Draco struggled, but gave up quickly. Goyle was nearly twice as big as him.

'So, someone is watching me? Why don't _they_ come and help me, huh?'

_*I would! But I can't!*_

Hermione swore, wishing she could do anything to make Draco feel better. Then she felt a fist slamming in her face. No, in Dracos face. 

"See, this is what we do with filthy little traitors like you."

Suddenly she became aware that the thoughts of Draco, which were surrounding her just a minute ago, were completely died away. 

What does that mean? He doesn't think anymore? Draco opened his eyes and Hermione could watch a foot beating up Draco's stomach. But wherever the foot impacted, she felt just numbness. 

Suddenly darkness washed over her, and she was knocked out. 

"Get me Miss Granger here. Immediately. No, I'm not about to answer your question. So, why the hell isn't anyone doing anything about this! He hasn't awoken yet, and you gave him a strong wake-up potion! ANSWER: WHY?"

Snape roared through the hole hospital wing. Nobody has ever seen him this angry before. Even Madam Pomfrey was afraid, and she was a lot older then the man in front of her.

"I think its because his body isn't about to react to potion anymore. Maybe he has taken a potion in the last 24 hours? A very strong one, I think, because he doesn't show any signs of reaction to anything."

"Yes, damn, he has taken a potion. Isn't there anyway to heal him?"

"Well, of course there are some potions who are for some… extreme cases. But I'm afraid to give it to him…"

"Why? If it helps him, so give it to him, he's looking so pale, his chest don't seem to move, are you sure he's still alive?"

"Yes, he is. What I was about to say is, that not the injures outside are the problem. He's often come up here with that kind of bruises, and I would be able to care for those with potions at any time, but he has got interior injuries, too. And if I give him those strong potions I don't know how he'll react. Severus, calm down now. We first have to make the potion retrogressive. What kind of potion does he have?"

"Levechsdrank." Snape answered quietly, wondering if Draco would be ok.

"You're serious?", she looked at him questionably.

"D'you think I would joke?" Snape looked at her as if he would explode the next moment, so she didn't snap back.

"There are some difficulties with mixing this because it needs some werewolf hair, but fortunately professor Lupin left me some of his here when he went 3 years ago. You sure don't mind mixing it? It wouldn't take long, just some minutes."

"Right. Give the hair to me, and I'll make the rest. You just take care that Draco don't die." he croaked.

"Erm, Professor? … Why should Miss Granger be here?"

"Oh… I've forgotten 'bout that. It's important that she takes the counter-potion by herself, because the two of them took it. I'm surprised you didn't figure that out by yourself, Poppy."

Madam Pomfrey looked at him startled. She would have never thought that Severus Snape let Hermione Granger, one of his least favorite students took the Levechsdrank with Draco Malfoy.

Hermione hurried down the corridor to the hospital wing. She didn't know why she ran there, she had been told that she was needed, but nothing else. 

When she finally reached the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey greeted her, looking concerned. 

"What's the matter, Madam Pomfrey? Why did you call me?"

"Professor Snape said you would be needed. But please, just go in now, he will explain everything to you."

Hermione wondered why Snape needed her. She hadn't done anything wrong, or had she?

"Granger, come on," he was just as unpolitely as ever, but she didn't care. Hermione just looked at the face of her professor to see that he was in real pain and sorrow. 

'But for whom?'

'Draco.' the thought suddenly shot into her mind. 

The only reason why Snape would be concerned is Malfoy, so she figured that he would have had another attack. But why did they call her?

"Take this potion."

"But-"

"Don't ask questions!", he yelled, completely loosing his nerve.

"What is it with Malfoy?"

"Why do you know it's Draco?"

"I just know it. Is he ill? Did they attack him? Why do you need me? TELL ME, OR I WON'T TAKE THE POTION!"

That did the effect. Snape looked at her madly.

"Ok, Granger. Yes, Draco was attacked, and we need you to take this because the two of you took a potion from me yesterday -"

"-No, I would remember-"

"- do not disturb me. Of course you don't remember, silly girl. Now take this counter potion that we can help Mr. Malfoy, will you?"

"But-"

"IMMEDIATELY! Or I'll force you to swallow it!!!", he screamed. 

Hermione took the potion from him and drank it. She felt dizzy again, but this time she wasn't able to find her way to bed.

She fainted on the floor. 

Snape pulled her to the bed next to Draco.

"Can you use some potion for his injuries now, Poppy?", Snape asked, still nervous.

"Yes, it should work. But nevertheless, he's harmed and I can't heal the psychically wounds. Severus, you need to do something about Mr. Malfoy. I know you're concerned too, please, stop this hole thing. Don't you see that he can't stand this much longer? He's only sixteen. Remember when you were sixteen."

Snape remembered very well the time when he was sixteen. He hadn't had anyone to help him out of this.

He always waited for someone to help him, but it never came. 

It has a reason if history repeats. 

Suddenly this sentence was in his head. 

He loved this boy so much. He loved Draco as much as he always wished someone to love _him_. He had to save him. He couldn't just stand there and watch him fade away.

He took a seat next to his bed and took Dracos hand. He watched his chest moving barely and his eyes twitching nervously, as if he would had a bad dream. 

Snape was deeply in his thoughts so he didn't notice that Hermione was already awaken. 

She was flooded with memories from the past day, watching Draco, and she was kind of tired but she couldn't sleep anymore.

Then she turned around and watched the two men silently. She had already seen Draco in a bad case, but this one was near death. Too near. But as he had been given some potions she was sure that he would be healed.

But Snape gave her really a shock. He sat next to Draco and held his hand, his dark eyes were suddenly warm and Hermione couldn't help but think he looked like a father, watching his son full of sorrow and angst.

She had never seen him this… emotional. 

She stood up silently and took the chair on the other side of Draco's bed. 

"Professor?", she asked softly, not wanting to disturb him.

"Yeah?", he croaked, his voice was weak and hoarse from screaming.

"He will be ok, won't he?"

Snape looked up. He tried to manage a smile, but failed terribly, and Hermione saw the pain in his eyes, again.

"If you mean his body, yes, then he'll do fine. Potions can fix nearly everything."

"What's with the other thing. I mean, will he be also fine psychically?"

Snape thought about it.

Then he answered slowly, thinking about every word he spoke out loudly.

"You care if he is fine, psychically, even if he has insulted you this often? He never showed any liking towards you, and you care nevertheless?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I do so. I mean… I can't really explain why. But it isn't true that he never showed a liking towards me. He was the only one who seemed to miss me during lunch today, I was only in the library, but he noticed it. Maybe he thought I'm a bookworm, but he noticed me."

"But that doesn't have to mean that he likes you, does it?"

"No, I'm not saying this. It's just…" he looked at him. Why did they have this discussion? 

But Snape looked at her, longing to know why she acted this way towards Draco.

"The reason I'm in sorrow, and the reason why I took this counter potion was not because I knew that he likes me. It's because I know that _I_ like _him_," she stated. 

Now, that she actually said it, it sounded stupid, and she felt herself blush. 

Snape thought a while and then answered.

"So you like him? Why are you able to like someone who never showed any kindness to you?"

Hermione was surprised that Snape asked this so bluntly.

But she was much more surprised at her own answer.

"Because you can never chose who you love."

Did she just say this? Did she say that she loves Draco Malfoy? Why did this words find their way out of her mouth? Was it true?

She thought about it, but at every thought of Draco she found the deep feeling of love inside her.

Snape was bewildered. Yes, he somehow always knew, but it shocked him now. 

"And what's with Potter?"

'Potter? Harry?'

"What - er - Why - What has this to do with Harry?"

"Granger…", he snarled, "you're still stupid, aren't you? It is so obvious. Everyone knows you're the perfect couple. I can clearly see you two in some years, happily married, having a little baby. Oh, come off it, everyone knows that."

Hermione looked at him startled. Harry was one of her best friend… well.. he had been. What was Snape talking about? She never thought of Harry in this way…

"Erm, as far as I'm concerned, I don't see myself with Harry and having a baby. He's a dear friend of mine, but… there isn't more."

'Oh. My. God. Why the hell am I apologizing to SNAPE?'

"So." he stated, but his eyes showed that he didn't believe any of this. "a dear friend?", he snarled, "as dear as Weasley, huh?"

"What-? Professor Snape, I really don't know what you're talking about. Yes, he is the same kind of friend like Ron, and there will never be more! This is bullshit!"

"Ah yes. You don't know what you're doing to any of your male mates, do you?", Snape smirked. "Yes of course… Innocence yourself, aren't you?"

"Why the hell, can you tell me, do I have the feeling that YOU're _jealous_, of all people?!?"

Suddenly the elder man looked caught. 

"Pah, jealous of what? You don't have to be scared, Granger, I'm not sixteen anymore. God bless me… This time's up. I just think that you're not able to love. And you're especially not able to love him! Seems as if Miss know-it-all doesn't know how to read her feelings, does she?"

"And why, can you tell me, why shouldn't I be able to love Draco?"

"Because you'll never be able to give him what he needs. He isn't one of this happy-and-free people, always enjoying theirselfs! He's not like one of your little friends. And you would find that out by time. But as I have already told you this, I won't give you the chance to try it out. You'll just hurt him more. I don't know if you've heard Poppy, but there's enough damage in his live, he doesn't need this. I'll make sure of that. And now go."

Snape still hold Dracos hand, and now he leaned forward protective, looking at Hermione warningly. 

Hermione didn't want to step back first. But then he found that she needed time to rest, and to think.

"I'll leave. But do not think that I'll leave him alone just because you said this. I know how he feels…"

"YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW HE FEELS!"

Hermione left. Snape scared her, and it wouldn't do good to discuss any more, or he would explode. 

A/N: yes. hm. That's it. review this one, there's going to be another tonight, I think. Maybe two, it's just half past 10, so I've got plenty of time (until 4 o'clock in the morning *laughs* I still have holidays. *lol*)

What do you guys think: should I get Sevy someone to love? I always thought a girl for him wouldn't be bad. A friend of mine thought about McGonagall (*lol*), but as she is a lot elder than him, I don't think this would be too good. What d'you think? 


	12. A Fathers Fears

A fathers fear

Snape sighed as he heard Hermione leave.

How could he have been so stupid? How could he ever accept that the two of them would develop their feelings? 

'And now look what it has done to him. He nearly died, because you had to play fate.'

/But it might have helped the two of them. They're made for each other. It has a reason if history repeats itself/

'Why should anyone change destiny? They are still young. Sixteen, and now that she knows that Potter has feelings for her, she sure will run into his arms as soon as she figured that Draco isn't the usual standard of a nice-guy. And as for Draco…'

/Yes, think of Draco. If it's true, he'll end up exactly as excentric and bored as you are. With no love, there is no life./

'This sentence is somewhat true… But she's just playing with him. She is so young, she doesn't even know what love is. She just feels pity for him. Even if she doesn't know, every boy would like to have her, why should she chose this here. Yes he doesn't look bad, but lets figure it: He's a wreck. He's not even half-alive.'

/Maybe she can bring him back. Maybe she can turn him back to the old Draco./

'She doesn't want the old Draco, does she? She fell in love with… this here. So she wouldn't want to change him again.'

/Maybe she does./

'And if she doesn't? And if she hurts him?'

/Give them a try./

'I couldn't stand watching him fade away. Every bit of life is leaving his body. What if she doesn't mean it?'

"What if she isn't serious?", he asked no-one. But unfortunately, no-one was awake.

So, how was this? It was very short, this was just to show Snape, and putting him in the right light. I hope you understand why he was so rude to Hermione the previous Chapter. He's just scared that she'll hurt Draco. But, what fathers often seem to forget, is that their "children" can think for themselves, and that there's nothing he could stop Draco from doing with her. plus: Draco doesn't even know about his feelings for Hermione. Now how will she react? The next chapter coming soon, I hope you guys review! 


	13. Questions

This are the thoughts from our dearest Hermione as she stepped out of the hospital wing. 

Did i really think that i would understand him?

Just because I've spend one day in his body, doesn't mean I know how he feels. 

They said he was a traitor… whatever he had done, it must have been against the Dark Lord. And that would mean, that he had done it for Dumbledore.

And that would explain why Snape now acts as if he would hate him in front of the Slytherins, but still loves him like his own son.

Why does he think Harry and I are the perfect couple? I mean… we don't really have anything in common. We were just friends because they saved me from this troll in our first year. 

Don't get me wrong, I really like them. But they are more like brothers to me.

And since we don't do this much together, it's even more like this. Just because I know them well doesn't mean I'm bound to spend my hole life with them.

So he just got this wrong. But that doesn't explain why he was this… kind of jealous.

It's not as if he wanted to be the man on my side, or does he?

No, I don't think so. 

But I don't understand why he doesn't want me to love Draco.

Oh. I've forgotten to think about THAT. 

I love Draco.

I can't really believe it.

How can I be in love with him? He always hated me! He insulted me, he tried everything to keep me away from him. And jet I'm finding myself in love with him. 

Why did it take me so long to realize?

I would like to go to him so badly now. But Snape would kill me.

But sometime he has to realize that he can't keep me away from him forever.

He needs me.

Does he?

I mean… he could have every girl in this school. Expect Slytherins.

Why didn't Dumbledore tell us that he's on our side?

Maybe Draco didn't want him to tell us.

But Harry and Ron wouldn't have been so cruel to him if they'd only known.

It just didn't make any sense.

Why did I think that Draco would need me? What could I do for him? I just know about books. That wouldn't help him any.

All I can give him is my love… But what if he refuses it? Just as Snape did? What if he doesn't feel the same way?

I need him. I need him too.

Hermione stood up and went to the hospital wing. she had to put up with this. She had to stop this thoughts. She wanted to talk to Snape again. He had to explain some things to her.

So, these were some short chapters. I promise the next will be better. And longer. so long…

review!


	14. Mistaken?

To all german (and especially austrian) readers:

Yoah, österreicherin, und stolz drauf. *g* Nicht ganz aus tirol, aber schon fast: Vorarlberg. ;-)

I can't really believe that some people think my story is good at all, because my friend told me I had a really big problem with times [I knew about that, though, I HATE them!] and stuff. Damn, I think I should look in my english-book, shouldn't I?

And about those girlfriend things: Do you think Snape isn't able to love two people? 

anyway, I'm determined to make him happy. 

i'm bored, so i decided to thank all those who reviewed:

freaked-out (where did you live before you moved?), klee_babe (thanks for that compliment), concordia, m1ssy, jane air, jivel malfoy, kou shun'u, moony-88, football babe, malferz, bigharryfan, katya, SerenadarienP, Veria Matann, PotterGirl5990, LiBlackDragon, Angel's Luv, da baddest chick, headmaster cromwell, tesa, Lynn R, Dying Angel1, Mary Sue Hunter, sarah, the counter, kirsten, lindsey, fredand georgweasley are gods, kairi, valerie.

I can't believe so many people reviewed. I love you all! 

-*~*-

"Who is not serious?", Draco asked his favorite professor.

"You're awake? How are you?"

"You're ignoring my question, what's up? Who isn't serious about what?"

"Nothing. I just thought aloud. Do you feel better now?"

"Yes, I do. What were you thinking about?"

"As far as I know I don't have to tell you that, so let it drop. I'm going to ask Dumbledore for a new room for you, so you don't have to go back to Slytherin. I'm afraid that's the only thing I can do for you, between the lessons you have to deal with them yourself."

"Thank you, Professor."

"You're welcome. Now what you need is rest, so don't leave the hospital wing, I'll return tomorrow before classes, until then you don't do anything, right?"

"And my school stuff?"

"I'll get it to you."

"Ok."

Draco was far to tired to disagree, so he just accepted it and let him go. At least he had now time to think. And that was something he really needed to do.

knock, knock [knocking on heavens door… *singing*]

"Enter. Ah, good evening Severus. Isn't it a bit late for a talk?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, Albus. But you have to give me a room separate from the Slytherin dungeons."

"For whom?"

'The old man is joking, isn't he?', Snape thought angrily.

"For Draco Malfoy. The Slytherins give him a hard time…"

"Do you know that if they find out that you saved him, they'll be angry at you too?"

"Yeah, I know that."

"What if some of them tell their parents? And if their parents are unfortunately Death Eaters, you'll have problems."

"Albus, don't you think I'm aware of that? I let them do those things the hole year long!"

"I know." The old man sighed. Of course he also wanted to safe Draco, but wasn't it a bit obvious? He didn't want to get Severus in problems, but he couldn't let Draco in pain either.

After a long silence of thinking, Dumbledore spoke again: "I'll get him a room for himself, it's between the Hufflepuff and the Gryffindor-tower. As far away from the dungeons as possible. But whats with the classes? You know, we will never be able to save him the hole day long. And Slytherins are clever. They'll find a way to torture him."

"I know. But if it will help just a little bit… You know, today-"

"-I know it. Poppy has told me. You're in real sorrow about the boy, aren't you?"

"I just want him to know that I care about him."

Dumbledore nodded.

"Come with me, I'll show you his room."

He stood up and walked out of his office, followed by Snape. 

Severus just wanted to lie down in his bed. It has to be already 2 o'clock in the morning, and he was so tired of screaming and worrying and walking through Hogwarts, looking at the new room for Draco. 

He just needed to sleep right now. But at that moment when he wanted to leave his office, he could hear someone knock on the door.

'Who would visit me at this time?', he wondered while he went to the door to open.

The person who stood in front of him was…

"Granger." Snape moaned. 'Does this girl now what time it is?'

"No, I won't go away and sleep so don't say that right now. You owe me some answers."

"No, I don't owe you anything." Snape snarled. 

"If you want me to stay away from Draco you do."

"Accept it. You're not the right one for him. And now stop thinking about it and run to Potter."

"Yeah, that's exactly what I mean. Potter."

Snape looked at her questionably.

"Can I come in and sit down? I'm afraid this will take longer."

Snape rolled her eyes, but as she was in here already, it doesn't matter. 

"So. What do you have to say to Potter, Granger? Have you thought about it? Wasn't I right?"

"No, you weren't. You are as old as Harry's father, aren't you?"

Again, Snape was bewildered about that girl.

'What has this to do with James Potter?', he thought, but answered himself. 

/It has a lot to do with him, and you know it./

"Yes."

"Did you like Lily Potter?"

Snape's pulse run through his veins fast. What did she know?

"First, Granger, in the times when we were in school, it was Lily Evans, and not _Potter_. Second, I think this are not the questions a sixteen year old student asks his teacher. I'm not about to answer this."

"Ok, it's Lily Evans to you," Hermioe said, completely ignoring the second sentence.

"Granger, what do you want?! Come to the point, I'm tired!"

"I want to know why you compare Harry to James!"

"Am I?"

"Yes, you do! Of course you do! You hated James, and you hated the other marauderers! And now you hate James son, because James is dead! Maybe Harry makes some mistakes, but you don't hate him because of them! You hate him because he's James Potters son, and that is not fair!"

"What do you silly girl know what's fair, huh? D'you think it was fair, four against one? Do you think it was fair, giving someone a hard time because he exists? He's breathing? Do you think it was fair, always being compared to this gorgeous people? Do you think it is fair to hear the sentence: 'You have to be better than Potter' at every time from your parents? Was it fair, that he could make every mistake and they would see over it, but dare me, if I fail… I fucking do not care what's fair and what's not!!"

Before Severus realized that he bared his hole terrible youth to this girl in front of him, the words just left his mouth.

Hermione was shocked. She wasn't used to Snape telling her anything of him. 

When she found her words again, she was very careful, because she didn't want him to freak out.

"But Harry is not like his father."

"Of course he is. You have seen them plenty of times, hexing Draco, making fun of him. Was there any reason of doing this? He hasn't done anything to them. He doesn't earn this."

"He provoked him plenty of times!"

"Haven't they noticed that he has changed? Haven't they noticed that he isn't the same anymore? Can't they forgive him?"

"But-"

"See? You're still on their side! You still defence them!"

"Of course I do! They're my friends!"

"And that's why you can't love a Malfoy. Have you ever thought about that?"

"They could forgive him, if they only know…"

"Know what? That Draco's a traitor to the dark lord? What do you think will that change?"

"They would understand it…"

"No. They wouldn't."

"Why are you so sure? You don't know them!"

"Of course I do! Remember when they found out that I'm a member of the order? Now tell me, did that change anything? No. It didn't. Draco is still a Malfoy, and they won't forgive him easily. And James was just exactly the same prat. Don't you dare tell me I don't know him! Maybe James stopped the torturing, but he still hated me! What do you think, if he ever found out about Lily…"

That was just too much.

'Severus Snape, stop telling Granger your hole life-story!'

"Lily what? Now that you've told me this, it doesn't matter, one word more or less…"

"Granger, you don't understand this. Your young, and foolish, you just forget about tonight, or I'll make sure you do."

"Really. As if I wouldn't know what you were about to say."

"So?", he eyed her carefully.

"Yes. You loved Lily, but just because you were afraid that she would take sides with James you didn't tell her, or did you?"

"Right I was, wasn't I? She married him, produced this fantastic child, Harry! Oh, how the hole wizard world were totally fascinated by this cute little family. Of course I knew that she would chose him over me. Do you think I would go up to her and tell her about me being in love with her? I think she wouldn't have believed me."

"You never know. But now it's too late, and you know that. But why don't you give us a chance?"

"Because I don't want to be hurt!"

'He? Who's talking about him?'

"You know, this isn't about you. This is about Draco," Hermione said coolly, causing Snape to laugh.

"It isn't. Don't you see that there is no difference between now and then?"

"There is a difference. I'm not Lily Evans. And I'm not going to marry a Potter."

With that, Hermione stood up, turned around and was out of the door.

'What if I had told Lily? Would she chose me above another? No, sure not. Don't be stupid, Severus, who would chose a life like yours?'


	15. Insomniac

It's funny but every single review of you guys makes me write a new chapter! lol, you're really great! 

Thanks to alexpotter, hermy-one2402, hannah and marauder girl. 

I'll go on with the story. I don't really know how, though… there are so much things I could write… 

Insomniac 

"Hermione, you should right now being in your bed, fast asleep.", Hermione told herself as she walked through the corridors of Hogwarts. She didn't dare to go to the hospital wing. 

Though she needed to see him, she didn't want to wake him up now. And still she didn't know if he felt the same way.

So she just strolled around, thinking.

She figured out about Snape and Lily some time ago. But still she thought it was a pity that he never asked her. Maybe she felt the same way like he did? Hermione however wouldn't be so stupid. She would tell Draco how she feels, no matter what he feels. 

'And what if he laughs at me? What if he just goes on, insulting me as ever? Has he really changed?'

But she would never know if she didn't ask him.

'What if Snape's right? What if I do hurt him? I have never loved before, how can I be sure I'll never change my mind about that?'

/Because you feel it. You could never hurt him. You want to heal him./

'But what if I don't know the difference between heal and hurt?'

Hermione found herself in front of the hospital wing.

She couldn't… But then the door was already open, and Hermione stepped inside.

First she didn't see anything, because the torches were just in the corridors outside, and in here it was dark.

But she would found the way to Draco's bed in sleep.

tap, tap even though she walked as quiet as she could, she could hear every step of her.

When she finally reached Draco's bed, she took a seat next to him and watched his limp body. 

Softly, she took his hand. It was surprising warm. Hermione stroked with her thump over the back of his hand. 

He looked so peaceful, breathing silently, looking so innocent and pure.

Hermione knew that wasn't really what Draco was, but still she thought he would never harm her this way. So she began to speak. 

"I've watched your day. The whole day long I was sitting in your head. I know that you already know, because you did the same with me. 

How did you manage to stand this? I saw your body. I saw the bruises, the scars, the wounds. I saw the pain in your eyes, just when your mask fell. I'm between adoring you and berate you because you don't do anything against it. Just because you're this proud, that doesn't mean you have to let them do anything to you. 

I've seen them, oh, I've even felt them hitting you hard, torturing you, hurting you. I wonder if you'll ever know how much I wanted to be alone in your body at this. I would take every pain if I could only ease yours. I just wished you could leave it to me to handle those people… I wished I would have come that way, I wished I could help you again. 

But you don't want my help. Why do you refuse every thing? Your pride is what's killing you. 

If I could only tell you this. If you would only listen to me. If you would only love me the way that I do."

A silent tear run down her cheek. 

Hermione leaned forward, something pulled her nearer and nearer his face. She could feel his warm breath on her skin.

Her lips touched his ones lightly, she never were so near him, but jet she knew she had to leave this place were all here dreams will be from now on. His lips were heaven, but she wasn't able to more than cover them, barely feeling his warm breath before turning away again. 

Her face was just some inches away when she felt the limp body beneath her move. 

His hand was gripping hers tighter, and his lips searched for hers. When their mouths impacted, she felt his warm lips being pressed over hers, comforting and warming her, feeding her stomach with butterflies.

When his lips finally released hers, she opened her mouth to say something, but Draco quietened her.

"Shhh. Don't speak. Sleep now, it's too late. Good night, Hermione Granger."

Hermione already stood up and was about to go, hiding her confused look, when the hand she still held in her hand was holding her back. 

She turned around and again their lips met each other, his tongue was stroking over her lower lips softly, but then he turned away. He looked at her, and his eyes begged her to leave.

"Good night, Draco Malfoy," she whispered, and then left quickly for her dorm.

A/N: aaawww, they finally kissed. *lmao* I can be such a bitch if I want to.. I'm just telling as much: they are both faaaaaar to complicated people to clear things up now, so don't think this story is going to end soon. Now I'm tired, and I'm leaving for bed, and I hope you guys review and tell me how you thought this little kiss-scene was. Did it ruin everything? Even if it did… I was a little bit tired of the two of them always fighting. good night guys, I hope tomorrow, if I look in my mail-box, I'll find at least six reviews. And before that number isn't reached, I won't update. (it can also be more, so don't mind and leave a review!)


	16. Heartache

A/N: Thanks: Lynn R,hermy-one2402 (it's true, nobody's updating!), Ox King, anonymus, llhall, klee, eclissi (yeah, I'm from austria, where are you from?), taisy, syvixxe, dracos_little_angel (I'm sorry about remembering you at this guy! Anyway, thanks for advising me about my mistake [I banged my head against the table when I noticed it, too. lol] my teacher would have gone crazy if she would have known…), BIGHARRYFAN, Ami, jane air, Demonstar (yeah, I know… *guilty looking*), jw, AkinaMeigatsuno, maraudergirl…

thank you all!

Some of you wanted the story to finish, didn't you? Well… I'm not going to give this thing up this fast. *grins evil*

knock, knock, knock

"HERMIONE! Stand up now!! Hermione! You're going to be late at classes! You can't be late! You never are! Now stand up!!"

Slowly these words trickled in her mind.

How is disturbing her in sleep? She just lay down, it can't be time for classes…

Her hand reached for her clock.

.::8.00::. 

…

…

…

Eight o'clock?? Hermione hurried up, nearly fell out of her bed and then turned to her dresser. She quickly threw her robes over her body and brushed her teeth, bruised her hair and then left her dorm.

She ran down the corridors, finally reaching the transformation class room.

She was sitting down at the seat next to Ron when Mcgonagall entered the room.

"What's up with you?", Ron hissed.

"Nothing. I've overslept.", Hermione simply stated and then turned her attention to McGonagall.

"Ok, 'Mione. What's up?"

"Ron, I've told you already, I've overslept, and now we have to go down to Hagrids."

"You never oversleep. And Hagrid is busy in the forbidden forest, so we don't have Care of Magical Creatures today. Tell us."

Hermione felt disappointed. Care of Magical Creatures was the only lesson today she would have been able to see Draco. "Tell you what?"

"What you are up to. Don't think we haven't noticed that you're acting strange recently. Always lost in thoughts…"

"And..? What's that to you?"

"'Mione…"

"Right. Ok. I'll tell you. But can we go anywhere where it's … more quiet?"

They left for the girls toilet from the Moaning Myrtle, deciding that this place was enough quiet if Myrtle wasn't in there.

"So?", Harry turned around to face her.

Hermione thought about Snapes words… Was he really serious? What if Harry or Ron really had feelings for her?

"I'm… I… You know…"

"Hermione!"

"Ivkissdmalfy"

"Did you understand what she said, Ron?"

"I've kissed Malfoy."

Rons expression was as if he thought this was a joke, but then realized that she was serious, so his face took a strange expression between laughter and shock.

Harry didn't say anything. His green eyes just stared into hers, and with that, Hermione realized that Snape wasn't this wrong at all. Quickly, Harry turned around and ran out of the toilet.

Ron's high pitched voice began to speak.

"'Mione… I can't believe you're serious. Please tell me this was a joke."

"Do you really think I would joke about that? Dumbass."

"This is a Malfoy. You can't be with… Malfoy!"

"I can be with whom I ever want to!!"

"You… really. How could you?"

"Ronald Weasly, I'm in love with him, ok, and nothing what you do or say will change that!"

"Ah, leave it. You'll find out what kind of human he is. And then you'll come back."

"Back to whom, RON? Back? Why back? I never were with you!"

"I always knew you wouldn't love ME! But whats with Harry?? Isn't a famous, and intelligent, handsome, and popular guy enough? Did you need to take this prick?"

"Ron! Why does everybody think Harry is the dream-boy?"

"I always thought you needed time!"

"Time for what?"

"Time to realize your true feelings!"

"So, Ron, I have realized my true feelings! And I don't feel anything for Harry besides friendship. But I'm not even sure about that anymore. _YOU_ did ignore me, at least!"

"We ignored you?? Just because we didn't talk to you that much doesn't mean we didn't like you anymore!"

"Ron…", Hermione sighed… It was senseless. "Now it's too late. You have to accept it. Because I love him. And only him."

Hermione walked out of the toilet. 

She needed to see Draco right now. 

She shouldn't have told them… She didn't even knew what Draco thought about this. 

Where was Draco? Maybe he was still in hospital wing, but he had been healed completely, so they wouldn't let him stay there. Back in Slytherin? Then she couldn't visit him. There was no chance for her to come just near the dungeons. But maybe Snape didn't let him back to Slytherin anymore. 

If he wasn't in Slytherin… where else?

Just when she was thinking about that, she crashed into someone else. 

"Draco!"

Hermione blushed and looked down at her toes. What was she to do now? She couldn't kiss him again, even though this would be the first thing she wanted to do.

"Hello," Draco's voice was as cold as ever, which caught Hermione with surprise. But maybe he just couldn't speak in another tone?

'Don't be silly. Yesterday his words were soft, now they're harsh'

"Y-you weren't at breakfast."

"So?", his lips were unnaturally thin.

"I … just wondered where you have been."

He shrugged and then said: "It's none of your concern."

"Draco… about the kiss…"

"First, forget about it. Ok? It was a mistake. God, we both know it wasn't meant this way. It never happened. And second: To _you_, I'm still Malfoy."

With that, he walked away without looking back.

Hermione was too perplexed to stop him. She was even to shocked to notice the tear streams running down her cheek. Her heart was pounding so fast, she thought everyone have to read it. 

'What just happened? The one night he kisses me, and now he just… tells me…' Hermione couldn't even think this. She had to go to her dorm.

N/A: *grins* oh, I really hope you are not tooooo mad at me. I just needed to do that… I know, I know, this wasn't nice. *grins more* *breaks into hysterical laughter* *tries to catch air* *fails* *faints* lol. sorry. yeah,… hmmm… er… [have you noticed that in the books, people (specially Harry) says "er" very often?] yeah. I'm sorry bout that. Everybody was so glad they kissed, and now… Draco turnes up to be such a… just as ron said. prick. Anyway, if you're angry right now. Or mad. Or sad. Or happy [rather not] or if you're bored… just see the little box on the left side of this page? click it. Now, you write what you're feeling, and then you make my day. I'll write another chapter, to … erm… make you feel better. or maybe not. *laughs again* 

Hey, I should watch what I eat… seems as if I would be quite high right now. I'm sorry about this too. 

WHY THE HELL DO I APOLOGIZE TO YOU? 


	17. Harry

N/A: 

klee_babe:*muahahahahahaahahaaa* *most evil laugh I've ever used* yeah, I love the internet. Which means, it is the only reason I'm still alive. *lmao*

Oh. I'm sorry. It all belongs to the plot. But, honest, did you really thought just because Draco was treated this badly, doesn't mean he changes his character just immediately, does it?

jane air: thank you. And, HEY, don't say anything against my school, I love it there! But I like it more if I have holidays. and right now I'm in my last week holiday. Yeah, I love Austria. We have 9 weeks summer holidays! Isn't that totally great? lol.

marauder girl: you have really reviewed every single chapter from my story. A great big thank you. I was just wondering, if you could tell me how old you are?

I love guitars: Thank you. About the criticism: :P I'm writing as fast as possible, I think my keyboard is going to burn if I don't slow down and you guys are still complaining?? lol. Anyway (I'm saying that word faaaar too often) I don't think my plot would ever fit in the books. Because I'm afraid that Malfoy will always stay the same. You just need the bad one, don't you? 

Hermiones pillow was wet. Her head ached badly, and her eyes were as red as her nose. 

'Oh Hermione, what did you think? That he would have changed? All of a sudden? Just because you were so foolish and kissed him??'

She could be mad at herself now, but that was exactly what she thought. 

His kiss was so gentle, his lips so soft. She could still feel his tongue on her lower lip, caressing her, comforting her. 

It just couldn't be. How could he kiss this way without having feelings? Was it just a game to him?

The kiss felt so real. 

"Hermione?"

Someone stepped in her dormitory. His shy green eyes met hers, and his look was still sad.

"Hermione, I have to talk to you."

Harry walked to her four-poster and sat down next to her. She sat up.

He looked cute, though he too looked as if he had cried. But he had stoped some minutes ago, so his eyes were nearly back to normal. Nobody would have noticed it, but Hermione knew him too well. She spend nearly six years with him. They were so near to each other.

Hermione closed her eyes. Her tears had dried. She shivered. When she opened her eyes again, Harrys face were suddenly much nearer than earlier. Just some inches away were someone who could give her warmth and love. 

Carefully, Harry moved forward, touching her lips slightly, as if afraid to break her. He was surprised when she kissed him back, more passionate, longing for him to touch her, to embrace her.

He did. This was the moment he waited his whole life. At least it felt this way. He needed a lot of time to realize his feelings, but now he knew that he just had to hold this girl. They belonged together. He needed her. 

They sat there, on the bed, firmly embracing each other.

Then Harry stood up. "Hermione, I think lunch is ready. Do you want to walk down with me?" He held his hand out. 

Hermione smiled, still weakly though, and took his hand.

When they walked through the common room, they thought it couldn't be worse. The hole room went first silent, then they all began to whisper, and finally some people walked towards them, shook their hands and congratulated that they finally got together. 

Lavender and Parvati took out a large blackboard, where they had a register. Parvati yelled: "Ok, who had Harry and Hermione, 16th of december at lunchtime?"

But the great hall was definitely worse. It wasn't as if they just snoged in front of them, but alone the fact that the two of them were holding hand together let the great hall in just one topic: Harry Potter, definitely most popular boy of hogwarts, and Hermione Granger, most smartest girl.

Harry laid his arm around Hermione and began to feed her. From time to time he pecked her, and they held hands the hole time. Ron smiled at them, telling Ginny that he always knew it, and that the two of them were just a very cute couple. 

One person, however, left the great hall by the first sight of the two of them, and another person shot deadly glances from the staff table to the Gryffindor table every minute.

A/N: This one is quite short… but I as I'm about just to write the next one, I'm updating that just now. 

Seems as if I haven't tortured you enough. lol. woah, I can't believe I made Harry/Hermione. I hate these pairing. I don't have anything against Hermione/Ron, but Harry Hermione? Honestly, do you think the two of them fit together? Please say no. I hate the two of them together. lol, now don't ask why I put those two together.

Now, don't blame Hermione for being weak. Because I know you were about to. She gave up quickly? No. I just say it to defence her (she's one of my favourites). Hermione fought with Snape about Draco, she hurt her friends because of Draco, she fought with herself because she had to stop herself from loving Draco. The kiss seemed to refund this fights, because she thought, it would be worth it. But then he just said it didn't meant anything. Of course she didn't felt like fighting anymore. Believe me, I know you like the fact that she is strong and all, I like it too, but sometimes you're just hurt, you ARE just weak, and no-one, even not Hermione can do something against it. Harry was there for her, and so… don't say I made a big mistake. I actually figured how to write the story further, and it everything fits. Expect: The date. I'm not sure… because they were just three/four months in Hogwarts. Isn't that under? Anyway. 

give me an

R

give me an

E

give me a

V

give me an

I

give me an

E

give me a

W

**REVIEW! **

*lol* sorry, I still think it's the chocolate I've eaten…


	18. Talking To Lily

A/N: My thanks to: whoosh (PMS? premenstrual syndrome? *lol* ), SiriusFan108, jane air (you are the best reviewer I could think of! I'm surprised that you understand my train of thoughts! Those people are rare!), BIGHARRYFAN, klee_babe, klee, lynx6… 

The next day, their first two lessons were potions. Harry already knew it would be bad. Snape had a new thing to torture him. This wasn't going to be easy. 

But that was a pure understatement.

Just as they sat down, Harry next to Hermione, Snape entered the room. And his mood was, to say the least, horrible.

"Potter, 20 points from Gryffindor because changing the seating arrangements during school year."

Harry didn't answer back. It wouldn't change anything.

"You don't give any answer, so I figured that you didn't understand what I said. 10 other points because not paying attention to a teachers word."

"Yes sir, I've understood," Harry answered, and was surprised that it sounded so friendly, because the sentence he thought about was: 'You slimy, old git, you know exactly that I've understand you, and it's still not fair, just because I want to sit next to my girlfriend…'

"10 points from Gryffindor for speaking without permission."

Harry growled. 

"I hope you all have done your homework, I'll collect them. I wanted Granger and Malfoy to tell you something about their experiences, but for several circumstances they don't have to hold their presentation. We'll…"

And Snape told them about the potion they were about to mix today. The lessons were rather uninteresting, expect for Harry, Ron and Hermione, which were all taken points for breathing to loud, sneezing, letting things drop and such things.

At the end of the lesson, 150 points for sure were taken from Gryffindor.

Harry moaned. "Do you think we have any chance for the house-cup any more?"

"No, but I don't mind. The old man is a psychopath, somebody should really put him in the loony bin."

Hermione didn't say anything to that. She knew very well why Snape acted this way. But her eyes were focused on her surroundings, searching to find Draco, anywhere… he had to be there…

'Stop searching for him! You are Harry's girlfriend! Do not go searching his arch enemy!', she told herself.

Snape let out a sigh before pushing himself into his chair. He had an hour off now, before he had a lesson Defence Against the Dark Arts. He could check the potions of the sixth years now, but he didn't felt like it. 

He couldn't believe Hermione really ran to Harry. When she said, she wasn't like Lily, a part of him believed her. Maybe she would have been able to make Draco happy. But then he saw the two of them in the great hall, and Severus was disappointed. 

But now, his disappointment changed into anger. 

He was mad at Harry, because again the potter gets the girl. Harry knew about Draco and her, but nevertheless he, Harry Potter, was now the boy on her side. 

And he was mad at Hermione, because she did exactly that what he said. Severus never thought that once in his life he wouldn't be happy about a pupil doing what he told her. Why had she given in? Why didn't she fight? She was exactly like Lily.

He was mad at Draco, because he knew Draco loved her. And he didn't do anything to hold her. 

But the most, he was mad at himself. He shouldn't have told her that stuff. He shouldn't have said that she should leave Draco alone. But he was scared, and in sorrow. But now she hurt him all the same. And it was his fault. 

~Don't blame the others. But you're right. It is your fault.~ a silent whisper of a female person float through the room.

"What? Who-? Who is there?" asked Severus bewildered, as he couldn't see anyone.

"Who are you?", he asked again.

~I'm a lost mother, a lost friend, and a lost love.~, the voice continued, leaving no doubts in Severus who she was. 

"Are you a ghost? Why am I not able to see you?"

~I'm not a ghost. And you don't see me because I don't want you to do. Why do you blame my son for your mistake?~

"Because he hasn't earned her! And because he knows exactly that she loves another."

~Does she? How do you know? How do you know who she loves?~

"She told me."

~And you believed her. I'm surprised you believed her. You never believed in anyone. You don't even believe in yourself.~

"What makes you think so? Yes, I did believe her. Because a part of me always hoped that she would love him. And now see what I've done? It wouldn't have hurt him this badly if he hadn't known there was the slightest chance of him to be with her."

~Did you know they kissed?~

"Who?"

~Draco and Hermione. The evening you told her everything. She didn't left for her dorm. She went to the hospital wing.~

"He kissed her? And why the hell is she now the girlfriend of your dearest son, perfect potter?"

~That, Severus, is about to you to find out.~

"Why do you know these things?"

~Because I watched you. Did you believe my death would keep me away from my son? Did you think my death would keep me away from you?~

'So she felt something for me?'

"From me?"

~Yes, Severus, of course from you.~ then she laughed sadly.

"Why didn't you draw any attention to yourself?"

~Because I wasn't allowed to.~

"And why now?"

~Because you stupid ninny screwed up everything!~

Severus chuckled. This was Lily Evans, exactly how he got to know her.

"Yeah, I guess I did." Severus sighed.

~What do you think why I went in the dreams of the boy, huh?~

"Yeah, I know, you wanted me to help the two of them! And I did! I gave them the Levechsdrank! And now see, are they happy? Did it anything good? Maybe it just should be this way!!"

~Severus, you're a dumbass, you know that?? I think we both know why it hasn't worked! And it's about you to straighten things out again.~

"What do you want me to do? Running into Gryffindor tower and tear the two of them apart?"

Again she laughed. 

~No, I think that would be wrong. It's not about you to tell Hermione about Draco. You've had you're chance.~

"Lily… I never told you, so how did you know?"

~I thought I told you I was watching you? The scene with the picture and you sighing out my name was very impressive.~ again, she laughed.

"You… So why did you watch me if you didn't know before this?"

~I was watching you, Severus, because I love you.~

She paused, to see his expression.

~Oh, come on, now don't look so surprised. Somehow you always know that I did. But you didn't want to see it. You couldn't figure out what you felt until it was too late. Or maybe you were afraid? Of what, Severus? Of what? James? The world? The talking? What stopped you from loving me??~ her voice was so incriminating.

Snape felt a flood of guilt washing over him. But then Lily calmed down again.

~Oh, what am I asking you? I think you don't know by yourself. But it doesn't matter anymore. It's over.~

"Why did you marry him?"

~Why? hmm… a good question. You know, it won't change anything, now, that I'm dead. But I'll answer this to you. I married him, because he was there for me. And I loved him. Oh yes, and don't look this unbelievingly, I really did. It was just different from the love to you. I loved him more like a brother, someone with whom I could have fun, and maybe have a family. He was a good father, even though he didn't have much time to prove it.~

There was a moment of silence between them. 

"Why don't you show me your face?"

She laughed again sadly.

~I don't want you to see me. I've changed. Death changes everyone. And the avada curse especially. I don't look like the Lily Evans you knew anymore. I want you to remember me the way I was then.~

"Have you gone to Po- your son already?"

~No, and I won't do it.~

"Why?"

~Because he didn't knew me. It wouldn't make any sense.~

"And who are you fooling? I know you want to show yourself to him."

~Yeah, I would love to.~ 

Snape could clearly imagine Lily smiling sadly at this.

"So why don't you run to him? Tell him, what you told me?"

~I don't want to take away YOUR job. You have to get them together. I…~

"You…?"

~I'm only able to show me one person.~

"And… you… chose me… over… your son?"

~As you see, or better hear, yes, I did. You really needed a kick in your ass, didn't you? You know what to do know, don't you?"

"I guess I should go to Draco and… tell him that he should move and get the girl back until it's too late."

~Right. I see you've finally understood.~ Lily laughed again. "Now GO, or do you need me to kick you're as physically??~

"Yeah, yeah…", Snape said hesitantly, but didn't move an inch. "I just don't want to leave you jet."

~No, Severus, don't. Don't make it this difficult. I came to you to save my sons friend, maybe a soul mate from me, from a big mistake. A big mistake that I, too, made. I didn't came here to make the mistake retrogressive. Go.~

Snape sighed and turned to the door. When he reached it, he turned around again, even though he didn't see her.

"Good bye, Lily."

When she didn't answer he walked out the door. 

Some minutes the room lay in total silence, then a woman with dark red hair and green eyes appeared out of nothing. A tear was running down her cheek.

A/N: what do you think? Was it too much? I don't know, the idea of Harry's parents being together just because some mistake… :-/ but it's just fiction, so don't take it too serious. 


	19. Hopeless

N/A: I thank my reviewers. Vu, klee, marauder girl, jane air, I love guitars...

I'm glad I could surprise some of you, and I'm sorry if you think I'm crap because of the previous chapter. lol

About Lily: I'm speaking for her. I've done the bullshit, I'll straighten it out again. lol  
I honestly didn't fell easy about Harrys mom not loving Harrys dad. Because it seems wrong. But I think, she really loved James. And I really think, that the two of them WERE happy together.  
I do not say that she would be happier with Snape. We don't even know since when he's a member of the order, so maybe he was to that time still a death eater or something like that. In my story, he's not, however.  
For my story, it was somehow important, that Lily loved him back. Because, remember the dream Draco had? I don't think that she would have appeared in his dreams, if she wouldn't think it was a mistake that Snape never told her about his feelings.   
Anyway, I can't imagine the two of them together, having a baby or something.. you know that's just… irritable. And you can't change time. I think that lily knows that, and that's another reason why she didn't show herself Severus. She don't wanted to catch up on everything. That wasn't the reason she came.  
hope you understand a little why I wrote this. And don't say she loved Snape more. She loved him different. (yeah, for ME, there is just a difference)

~*~

"So you've kissed her."

Snape walked into Draco's room, looking excited and anxious.

Draco looked up from his school books.

"How did you find out?"

"Unimportant. What did you do that she's now the girlfriend of Potter?"

"Erm, professor… I would prefer not to talk about it. I mean… It's my business."

Snape rolled his eyes. Of course… He couldn't await for his pupil to tell him everything.

"Ok, it is very important. For me, and for you, especially for you, and for Gra- Hermione.", it cost Snape quite an effort not to say Granger, and this perplexed Draco.

"If you think so… Then I first want to know why it is important for YOU, and how you found out about the kiss."

"I- hmpf. It's important to me, because I don't want you to repeat a mistake I've made once in my life. And I found out about the kiss because a friend of mine."

This wasn't really a very detailed description, but Snape didn't want Draco to know everything. He was afraid of loosing the younger boys respect if he told him about Lily.

"Anyway, tell me what did you do to mess things up this way!"

Draco didn't really understand why everybody seems to be angry at him recently.

"Yeah, I've messed up things again. blah, I'm through that a thousand times. Why does everybody seems to blame me for everything? And as for information, I didn't 'mess up everything'. I knew it was a mistake to kiss her. And she accepted it, so I think she felt the same way. And I wasn't wrong, was I? Because otherwise, she wouldn't be in the arms of perfect potter."

Snape moaned loudly, crushing his hand down the table. 

"Argh, I could jump out of my skin! Hell, don't you see that you've hurt her?? Are you blind?? I always thought you were smart, and now I see that you don't even notice if a girl is in love with you."

"Professor… I would suggest that you'll rest first. I think you're a little bit overexcited now."

"God, Draco, I'm neither a little baby nor an old man, so stop talking to me in that tone."

"Ok. Then I'll tell you what I mean. Leave me alone, ok? I don't need this stuff. You know Hermione exactly as less as I do. And I don't need you to tell me how she feels. Love is just an illusion. What this kiss was about is lust. And for me, that's all that's existing. Love? Oh please. What's love? Not more than a feeling that fools people. Just when you think you've found "the one", you'll find that you were fooled by this feeling. Just because I will not let me blind myself with that feeling, you blame me to hurt her? Oh no. Now simply another has taken this place of "the one". Potter is now the "love of her live". Maybe, in some months It will be Weasly?", Draco's voice was bitter. 

"You know that you are talking a lot of bullshit, don't you?"

"Professor, what do you want from me? Do you want me to run to Gryffindor tower, throw myself in front of her and licking her toes? Do you want me to ask Hermione to marry me?"

"That doesn't sound bad. You can leave the part with the toe-licking, though.", Snape smirked. 

"Honest. Did anyone expected that to be serious? Do you want me to numerate the reasons why I can't be with her?"

"Yeah." Snape remained calm now. The total opposite from how he was a few minutes ago.

"First: I'm a Malfoy. I'm pureblood. She's 'muggle-born'."

"Mr. Malfoy, that's no reason at all. May I remind you, that to your father, you're a traitor, and I don't think that he will care if you are together with a mudblood."

"Second: If I would be together with her, whole Hogwarts would now that I've changed the sides, now, because Hermione would never date a follower of Voldemort."

"Well… Do you think that would be bad? Oh yes, people could start LIKING you. Horrible." Snape faked a painful grimace. 

"Third: I tried not to draw attention to me the last few months. Now I will be in the center of attention. It would be more difficult to hide. And you know I will need to hide.

Fourth: I would have to deal with Potter and Weasly. And, to be honest, I'm damn sick of fighting. I don't want to spend my hole year in hogwarts in the hospital wing. It's not that I wouldn't take it up with them at every time, but two against one… anyway."

"You're a egoist, do you know that?"

"What?"

"Did you ever waste a thought about what Hermione would have to go through if she's with you?"

"Yeah, actually, I DID waste some thoughts about that. Do you think she would be happy? Hiding with me? Her friends would refuse to speak to her. I guess, her school grades would also be affected. Did YOU waste some thoughts about that?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure that SHE would take that up with you, if you only would show her that you love her. And you DO, I know it."

"Yeah, maybe, I love her. But sometime, I'm sure, I'll hurt her. Intentional or unintentional. What's the sense of a relationship if theres nothing but pain in the end?"

The question stayed open. His words clang through the room.

Snape left. There wasn't anything more to say. Because somehow, he was right.

A/N: This chapter is for those who wondered why Draco did this. Of course he wasn't THIS sure about his feelings when he told Hermione that it didn't mean anything. He just had to break up, and then he had time to think about if that was a mistake. And in his opinion, this was the only right thing to do.


	20. At Night

A/N: I think, i'll finish this story soon. School's about to start, and I think, if I let them suffer a little bit longer my own heart will bleed, too. lol. And: hey, I've got 20 chapters. That's really… wow. *g* I have to admit that I'm a bit proud of myself, even though I know there ARE this much mistakes in it. And I don't think I would have written if it weren't for you. Reviewers were everything that held my story up. 

Thank you.

jane air: about the voldemort stuff. Yeah, he's a mud-blood, but that's not against the slytherin rules, because he was really evil. But good old voldie didn't date a muggle-born (ok, I admit we don't know, but I can't imagine that.). See the difference between being mud-blood, but evil, and dating a mud-blood and not even being evil? But it really was no argument, because the Slytherins don't like Draco already, so… *schrugs*

Harry and Hermione sat on the couch, cuddled into each others arms, just enjoying the others presence and watching Ron and Ginny playing chess.

Hermione wanted to put out a book and learn, but Harry kept her off from that.

"Hermione, it's week-end, and by the way, we soon have Christmas-break."

Hermione shrugged, put the book away and leaned her back against Harry. When she closed her eyes, he asked: "Are you tired, darling?", enjoying every single sound of the last word.

Hermione smiled, but didn't open her eyes and nodded. "A bit."

Harry made his embrace tighter, meaning to warm and comfort her.

She sighed and let her mind drift away, with every thought it got harder to understand what the people around her were talking about.

She thought about the past months.

Harry and Rons ignorance, Draco's attacks, the feeling she needed to save Draco, Harry and Rons reaction when she took sides with Malfoy, the conversations with Snape, the potions, seeing that Draco wasn't as cold as he always acted, Snape telling her about Harrys mom and him, Draco, the kiss, Harry and Ron, Draco telling her it meant nothing, Harry, Draco, Draco and again Draco… 

The words and thoughts were twanging in her head, until she opened her eyes and found the common room deserted and only felt the presence of her lover next to her. 

Harry seemed fast asleep, his arm was hanging lazily over her stomach.

Hermione smiled. He was such a cute boy. His hair was a mess, and his glasses were anywhere but on his nose. Hermione carefully took a blanket and lay it over his and her body, trying not to wake Harry, but still to lay comfortable. After a while lying awake and thinking, she, too, drifted away in a deep, dreamless sleep.

~+*+~

Draco laid in his bed, on his back, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the morning to come.

He was so frustrated. Everything doesn't seem to make sense anymore. He thought the same at the start of term. 

But this time it was different.

At start of term, he was bored. He had no-one, but he didn't really care. Expect that he didn't know what to do. But that problem was solved easily. He filled the lack of time with his books, leaning a lot for school. 

But it was different now. Of course, he could learn. But it was boring, and the teachers didn't gave them that much homework, because Christmas-break was near. And it wasn't as if Draco was this bad at school. He was one of the best. Only Hermione got better marks them him.

Hermione.

Actually, that was the thought that kept him awake all night.

He wondered what she did. 

It was a stupid question, because most of the people sleep at three o'clock a.m. And so, he guessed, did she. Maybe dreaming of Perfect Potter.

Draco closed his eyes.

If it only wouldn't hurt him this much.

If there wouldn't be this unbearable pain he felt every time he looked at them.

Was it that she wanted?

He thought he knew her.

The moment they kissed, he thought he know everything about this girl.

She had told him everything. She had opened her heart to him.

And he refused her. Her refused her even though he knew, if there would be true love, if there would be _the one_, she was it.

And she loved him back. 

At least he thought so. But then, when she was gone, and he was stuck in this place, with out her love, without her warmth, he got scared. He wasn't sure about that anymore.

But still, even though he knew it was his own mistake, he was disappointed in her. Why Potter?

Draco still lay on his bed, he had his eyes open.

Then he began to croon. He crooned a song he once heard. He didn't remember when, or where, or from whom, but he knew the words exactly.

_people come around  
people let you down  
anywhere you go  
anyone you see  
it's real  
It's up to you to make it happen  
It's up to you to make it real_

_and you know, how it feels  
to bleed some, to need some  
and you know, how it feels  
to bleed some, to need some_

_Tell me what you know  
Tell me how you feel  
it doesn't matter when your down  
When you look at me with your eyes  
That smile on your face it seems happy  
… are you happy?_

_and you know, how it feels  
to bleed some, to need some  
and you know, how it feels  
to bleed some, to need some_

Dracos weak eyes closed and he doze off, still the melody of the song in his mind.

A/N: What do you think? nice? not nice? fucked up? let me know. 

I've figured that my chapters really ARE very short. I'm sorry. But I'm updating very often, so I think it's balanced.

The song: is not from me. lol, it's called "the down syndrome", by grey daze (I love that band! Pity they don't exist any more.) Just for those who wondered.

And what the f*** is the plural of body? Can somebody please tell me?


	21. Christmasbreak

Warning: This chapter contains a lot of stupid stuff. It's fun, mixed with some uncovering. It was written in a very boring night, and I'm quite a little… insane. Not more than usual, but still insane ;-) this time, it hit my story very badly, and I'm sorry about that. If you're the opinion that my story should be serious, I'm sorry about that chapter. Still, I love it, because of the dialogs, and I love conversations. It's just as long because … ah, you'll see. 

Christmas-break

Everyone was gone.

There was simply no one in Hogwarts anymore, or at least, Harry thought so. 

Hermione went to her parents. They needed more than an hour to say their good-byes to each other. The parting was terrible. He didn't want to let go of her, just when they found to each other.

But he could understand why she had to go.

Ron also went to his family, because this time everyone was at home, he wanted to see Bill, Charlie, Percy and Fred and George.

He asked Harry if he didn't want to come, too, but Harry didn't feel like so much people around him.

And it was the Weasley's family celebration. He couldn't just go with him, even though he spent a lot of time with the weasleys. But he didn't want to feel a little displaced.

Of course, every other person in Gryffindor left too. 

And not only in Gryffindor.

The whole castle seemed deserted, except for the ghosts, Dumbledore, and he guessed some teacher. But he didn't even met one of them.

But, to be honest, he didn't search for them. And he wasn't about to go down to the dungeons to visit Snape.

But still it was a bit boring to sit alone in Gryffindor common room. And he wasn't like Hermione. Harry wasn't about to make his homework yet.

He stood up and decided to make a tour through the castle. Maybe he could find something interesting.

And he did.

He bumped in someone, just when he wanted to turn around at a corner.

Harry was about to apologize, but when he saw, who he knocked out, he straightened up and looked at him in shock.

"Oh no! You're here too??", the two of them said at the same time.

"I thought you would go to the weasels home!"

"And why the hell aren't you with your parents?"

"I don't see the reason to tell you this."

Harry shrugged. There was no point he asked Malfoy any further, because he knew he wouldn't tell him.

"And what are you doing?", Harry asked, because it seems as if he wasn't the only one who thought the castle was boring without its residents.

Draco thought about snapping back the same answer as he did previously, but as he was bored as well he decided to answer his question.

"I was about to go back to my room."

"Your room? You know that you're a bit in the wrong direction, don't you?"

Draco rolled his eyes. The dungeons were in the opposite direction.

"No, I'm not. My room is there." he pointed to an undefinable point behind Harry.

"You mean, your room's not in Slytherin? Why do you have the privilege of having an own room? Does your father have a little too much money? Buying an own room, separated from the dungeons for his son… that wasn't too cheap, was it?"

Malfoy shot him one of his meanest and coldest looks. "You know, I don't need you to say anything about ME being favoured because my father has money. You could go to Dumbledore at every time and ask for an own room. I'm sure as hell he would give it to you. The old man favours you. And he does definitely more than Snape favours _me_. I think Dumbledore feels pity for you. You know… because of your… loss."

He looked at him angry, enjoying Harrys shocked face at the mention of the last words.

"Loss?", his voice was high pitched, and his eyes widened. "What loss do you mean?"

"Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about? I mean your dear godfather. Come off it, did you really believe I wouldn't know? Anyway, if you ask me, Dumbledore would do anything to "ease your pain"."

"Don't you ever dare to talk again about Sirius, because _YOUR_ father is part of those group of cruel psychopaths who killed him."

Harry's voice got dangerous quiet. 

"I know."

To harry's surprise, Draco also whispered. But he said it soft… as if he would feel sorry for that.

But before Harry could answer this, Draco walked past him and headed to his room.

Harry thought about following him, but he decided it wouldn't be worth. They would just end up fighting again.

The next days they met each other from time to time, but either Draco ignored Harry, or the golden gryffindor ignored Draco.

But still it was boring in the castle, and as they both had nothing to do than stroll around, their ways crossed each others a few times.

"Ok, Potter.", Draco stopped as he saw Harry come along at the other side of the corridor. "What do we do?"

Harry looked startled, he didn't knew why Malfoy talks to him all of a sudden. "What? Well, I don't know what YOU are doing, but I'm hanging around."

"'S that fun?"

"It isn't. I'm sick of that castle, of those walls, and those torches, those staircases, those pictures…"

"I've got the point. You know, I've got an idea what we could do."

Malfoy got closer to Harry, surrounding him slowly.

"And that would be?"

"There are just the two of us, you know? Boredom's always making me combative. You don't have to make up a show know, Potter. No-one to see us. Just a little duell…", Draco was purring like a cat, enjoying his idea of duelling with potter without his annoying friends and admirer.

"Hear hear, are you actually getting brave? With no-one here in the castle, you think you can beat me up?"

"No, that's wrong. I don't think so. I know it."

"Then show me.", Harry said, meaning to provoke his rival.

The two of them walked some feet away from each other, and took their wands out.

One moment they looked into the others eyes. Harrys emerald green eyes met Draco's icy grey ones.

"One."

"Two."

"Three. - _Gyronymus_!"

"T_innitare_!"

Draco's body began to spin around fast, and his surroundings blurred. 

Harry however, began to hear a slight tune in his ear, first quiet and annoying, then getting louder and louder, until he thought he couldn't bear it anymore. "_silenco_", he used the charm on himself, but he wasn't sure if he was able to hear ANYTHING, now.

Draco, however, was standing still again and his wand was raised against Harry. "_Wristenti_!", he shouted.

Harry reacted immediately, and before he spoke out the charm, he hexed his enemy again.

"_Oklavre_!"

Draco's feet seemed to vanish out of his feeling, even though he could still see them, they felt more like rubber. Draco fell to his knees.

Harry's wrist began to hurt badly, and when he looked down, he saw that blood was trickling down his fingers. 'He cut my wrists? Does he want to kill me?'

"_Blivare_!" - "_Blivare_!" two male voices shouted at the same time. 

Draco's vision blurred again, but this time it was replaced by a painful brightness, stinging in his eyes. 

"YOU MADE ME BLIND??", he screamed furious.

"As you used the same spell on me, you should now that it's just temporary. Shit, this brightness is disturbing. How long will it hold on??"

"As far as I remember two hours! And I can't move!"

"I don't even know where I am, so there would be no sense in moving anyway." Harry let himself drop to his knees and sat down on the floor

"What's bothering me a LITTLE BIT MORE, is that YOU FUCKING BASTARD, HAVE CUT MY WRISTS!!!", he yelled through the corridor.

Draco was bewildered at the others sudden fury, but decided to calm him down, or he would be a dead man. 

"Potter, for one who's so stupid, I actually can't believe that you've survived voldemort all those times."

"What do you mean?", Harry asked, still angry.

"Do you really think, I would _kill_ you?"

"Erm… no, I didn't think so, until the last few minutes have proven other."

Draco rolled his eyes, though Harry couldn't see it. "It's just a fake charm. It hurts, but it isn't your blood which is trickling down at your fingers. I just wanted to shock you a little bit."

"Oh, and I'm pleased to say, that you managed that fabulous!", Harry was so pissed now, even though by the mention of the charm not being real, the pain in his wrists stopped.

But he was stuck with this prick, and it was the last thing he wanted to do.

Draco smirked. "Thanks. That was quiet near to a compliment. Oh, _Potter_, I guess we could be best friends!"

Draco nearly lay on the floor, laughing, because of the sarcasm in this sentence.

"Yeah, I guess so.", the other boy said. 

They didn't say anything for a while, but then Harry decided that it was too boring.

"When is your birthday?"

"WHAT?", Draco was startled. What the hell was he interested in his birthday?

"Ok, ok, I'll take that back. I just wanted to have a little small talk with my arch enemy. I mean, I don't know much about you, do I?"

"And I hope that will stay this way.", Draco was a little scared, obviously thinking that Harry should see a psychiatrist. 

"hmmm… I'm bored." Harry said, his voice turning now in something that Draco figured out had to be a singsong. 

When Draco didn't answer, he continued. "Do you know what I usually say when I'm bored?"

Draco was so annoyed by the voice of him, that he just snapped: "WHAT?", to finish the talk.

"I say 'blub'."

"You say 'blub'?", Draco couldn't believe how stupid this boy was.

"I indeed do say… 'blub'.", Harry smiled featherbrained, which Draco, of course, couldn't see. 

"And whats the point of saying 'blub' if you're bored?"

"There's no point of it at all. blub.", now Harry reminded very much of Lockhard when he'd lost his memory.

"So I figure that you're bored at the moment?"

"Yeah. Now guess how often I said: 'blub' the last few days?"

"God, you didn't count them, did you?"

"I did. It was one thousand-eight hundred-and-twenty second times.."

"You're stupid."

"Oh, no. I'm bored."

"You're bored and stupid."

There was silence. then Draco went on. "My birthday's on July the 14th."

"Shit, you're older. That's a shame!"

"We already know I'm more intelligent and more handsome than you, it doesn't surprise me that I'm older, too."

"Shut up. I've only got seventeen days later."

"I can't believe you let me calculate when I'm blind."

"I can't believe you're not intelligent enough to figure out that my birthday's on July the 31st."

"I figured out that!"

"Of course. And why did you complain, then?"

"Because I like complaining?"

"You're stupid, too."

"No. I'm just as bored as you. And I think that is the only thing we two have in common."

Again silence.

"Potter…?"

"Mhmmm?"

"er… nothing."

"What's it?"

"I said nothing."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Ok, if you don't say it, I'll do. What happened between Herm and you?"

Silence.

"Its non of-"

"my business?? Malfoy, come off it, you know, you say that every time! And it is my business. Because I love her, and because you hurt her, and because that is a great reason to still hate you even if we had this cute little small talk a little while ago."

"I'm not going to tell you."

"You're not?" 

"No. Because I won't tell you anything."

"You won't?"

"I won't."

"Blub."

Draco remained silent.

"Blub."

"Shut up."

"Blub."

"Shut the fuck up now!"

"Blub, blub."

Draco began to growl, but Harry still smiled stupidly and began to singsong.

"Blub, blub - blub blub blub - blub - blub, blub."

"You know, this is a somewhat serious topic, and you're just saying 'blub'?"

"I'm saying 'blub', because I know it annoys you, and I know, that sooner or later you'll have to tell me about you and Hermione. Or I'll continue saying 'blub'. Blub."

"Stop it."

"Blub."

"YOU'RE ANNOYING!"

"I know. Blub."

"Stop."

"Blub."

"STOP!"

"Blub."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Blub. Tell me."

"leave me alone, Potter."

"Tell me."

"You've forgotten to say blub."

"Blub."

Everyone who would pass would have thought the two of them were maniacs. They were both grinning stupidly now, having their eyes closed and having this conversation.

"I think you better tell me."

"I think I really better do. But… For you're my enemy, if you would know it, I would have to kill you."

"You have cut my wrists, forgotten? You've already killed me."

"Never mind, I didn't kill you. I couldn't kill you, because were on the same si-d-e. . ."

The last words faded from Dracos mouth, and when he realized what he was saying, it was too late.

There was an awkward silence between them.

"What do you mean, you're on the same side?"

"Forget it, potter. I'm just saying bullshit because of you saying 'blub' all the time."

"No, you're not. Things like that just don't slip out of your mouth. You're on the same side?"

Draco sighed. He was about to tell his arch enemy his biggest secret. That was a mistake.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"You're working for Dumbledore?"

"I do."

"Prove it."

"Believe it, or believe it not. I don't care."

"… Why?"

Draco waited. He didn't know by himself why he did.

"Hmmm… I guess I'm not as evil as both of us thought. This summer I just didn't feel like murdering some hundred people, so I went to dumbledore and told him. And that's why I'm on the same side as you are."

"I hate being blind."

"That was now totally off-topic, but never mind."

"I mean… I would like to see your expression right now. It would show me if you're serious or not."

"I guess, you'll have to wait. But believe me, it's not easy to read my expression. Hermione's the only one…"

"Seems as if you're babbling a little too much now, aren't you?"

"I do. Do you remember the memory-charm Lockhard wanted to made to you? Because I really need to do it on you if we'll see again."

"I'm afraid I can't remember… How do you know from Lockhard?"

"You'd be surprised how much I know. Dad told me everything."

"I guess so. But you still have to tell me about 'Mione."

"What do you want me to tell you?"

"Why did you hurt her?"

"Because I'm a mean person?"

"I don't think I'm satisfied with that. I mean… Don't you think I haven't noticed the looks you gave her? I always thought you have it badly for her. But then, when she said she kissed you, I mean… I wouldn't have thought that you two would really get close…"

"With other words, you were jealous."

"Yeah. I was. But then you did something, I still didn't figure out WHAT, but Hermione was horrible after it. The strange thing is… I hate you for breaking her heart, but still I'm glad that you did, because she's now with me. So why did you let her go?"

"Oh, you know, I just thought, because I like you so much, I'll just leave her to you."

"Ouch, your sarcasm is getting violent."

"Honest. I just let her do what she wanted. And she wanted you. And I think that she's a lot more happier with you. And that's the end of the story."

Harry couldn't overhear the bitterness in his voice.

Just when he was about to answer, he saw the brightness in his eyes vanish, and instead of that, he was able to see his surroundings again. 

He saw Draco, who was about to stand up, but failed miserably because of the charm.

"_Ervalko_.", he muttered and pointed his wand on Malfoy.

When Draco stood up again, Harry was about to say something to him, but Draco just hissed:"bye, Potter." and then left quickly. 

Harry's mind still spun around, so he guessed he'd better left for his dorm. 

A/N: About the blub-thing: I'm sorry if you thought it were a stupid word, and I'm sure you can never imagine Harry saying such a silly word. Actually, I'm the one who uses the word. And I'm using it very often. Lol. 

This chapter had no sense at all except that Harry knows about Draco being on the other side. But don't think the two of them like each other now. They were this civil to each other because a) they were bored, b) they couldn't see anything, and c) because they were some secure feet away from each other.

About the body/bodies thing: I wanted to write bodies, because it was the nearest thing for me to do, but then I wasn't sure,… and I thought, I'd better ask you, for we all know, you're better than me in spelling things… lol. But even If it was embarrassing for know, I think I'll never doubt again what the plural of body is. ;-)

and don't get used to such long chapters! oh, this story is going to end soon anyway, so never mind.


	22. Affective

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Pity, isn't it?

Thanks: jane air, ilovesiriusblack21, Dreamcatcher(I'm actually surprised that you didn't wrote "impossibile" ;) and it still is aelAbaetsch, to your information. kiss, hon. love you.), freaked-out (I'm glad that it's not me alone going insane if I'm bored. Ok, ok, I admit, I'm never sane… *g*), bunnyrabbit228, Vu, Lynn R, Football Babe (I do. Maybe I should be ashamed of that, but I'm not. I love the word 'blub' I can't help it… *g*), hi (hi back ;)).

A/N: Harry is not going to be best friends with Draco. And the conversation they had will stay what it was: A conversation between two people who hate each other, but were bored, and blind, and then you say things, which you would never do in any other case. I'm sorry, but I don't think that they are able to be friends in my story.  

The next days went smooth.

They went on ignoring each other when they met in the corridors or at lunch.

Soon the holidays were about to be over and Hogwarts filled again with pupils.

Harry went down to Hogsmead to pick his friends and Hermione up from the station.

He arrived just the same moment as the train did.

"Hullo, Harry!", Ron said while walking down the stairs from hogwarts-express. "Had a good holiday?"

"Yeah, Christmas was fine, but it was so boring. There was no-one else in Hogwarts! Can you believe it?"

Well, there actually was, but Harry didn't think it was necessary to mention it to Ron, because it would only cause any more trouble.

"Where's Hermione, Ron?", he asked his friend while searching for her.

"She'll come soon, she had something to talk to Ginny, what ever. There they are!"

Hermoine ran down the platform to her boyfriend, hugging him tightly.

"Harry, I'm so glad being back here! Do you know how much I missed you? It was hell!"

"Was it?", Harry smiled happily.

"It was.", she kissed him on the lips, but when Ron cleared his mouth they stopped abruptly. 

"What is it?"

"I think we'll better get to our carriages."

"You're right."

So they sat off and left the platform, Harry holding hands with Hermione.

When day finally reached the great hall, listened to Dubledore's welcome back speech and filled their stomachs with the fabulous dinner, Harry let Hermione out of his tight grip. When he was, again, in a discussion about Quidditch with his fellow-Gryffindors, Hermione had some time to check wether Draco was there or not.

She figured he wasn't in the great hall, she didn't saw him in any counter of the Slytherin table. 

Hermione mentally slapped herself. 'Would you please be so kind as to STOP LOOKING FOR HIM!!'

Hermione felt guilt washing over her, and she moved closer to her boyfriend.

Harry sensed the sudden uneasiness and looked at her questionably.

"Is something the matter with you, hon?"

Hermione just waved aside, but didn't dare to look at him.

Harry took her hand and squeezed it softly. 

Harrys gaze met hers, and he smiled warmly at her. His emerald green eyes locked with her browns, and the only thing she could think of, was: 'He hasn't earned this.'

She turned away, slowly standing up, mumbled something about library and left the great hall. 

Hermione drew the tears off her cheeks.

"I can't", she whispered, "I just can't…", she whispered the words again and again.

Hermione found herself in an empty corridor. She felt so weak, and so tired.

She crawled to the darkest corner she could find and huddled up, drew her legs close to her body and rested her head into her arms.

In an other dark corner, of the same corridor, stood a young, blonde man. 

He was watching the girl cry her heart out, but he couldn't bring himself to go over to her.

He couldn't go on, playing with both of their hearts and their lives. It wasn't a game.

Draco needed all the strength he could afford to stop himself from just kneeling down next to her. Just wrapping his arms around her tightly, stop her pain.

He knew now how it felt if you want to help someone but you can't.

The man in the corner risked another glance to Hermione. When he vanished into the next passageway, he slammed his bare fist into the stonewall. Then he made his way down to his favorite professor's office.

"Professor Snape, may I enter?", he said, while knocking on the door.

Snape sighed. Draco hadn't visited him for quiet some time now.

"Sure. What brings you down to the dungeons again, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Nothing special. I just needed the company of you."

Snape grinned, but remained silent.

"Ok, to be honest, I needed the company of ANYone! I'm really glad I have my own room now, but it's so… quiet."

"Yeah, I know. Had nice holidays?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I've had a lot of time to learn. And… to sort things out."

Snape looked up from the sheet of parchment he was reading.

"Have you changed your mind?"

"No."

Again, Draco's teacher sighed. "You're both: clever and stupid."

Draco looked at him puzzled. "Am I?"

"Clever, because you know, what might happen to both of you. And stupid, because you care."

"Do you really think I should NOT care? If it were only for me, if the danger would only affect me… But I can't risk it. I thought, we talked about that before. Why can't you just leave it?? I thought you believed me, when I told you the last night we were talking."

"I know, but the last night you didn't gave me a chance to say anything against it. Listen to me, Draco. I don't mind if you don't believe me, because as you have told me some time ago, I don't even have a life. But I have to try it, ok? Will you listen to me?"

"Ok."

"I know, you're afraid. Maybe because more than one thing. I can't make your fear go away. But you've hurt her already. And you can't take her the chance for the decision.

I don't say the fear isn't there. But maybe you both need each other. Do you really think, Hermione wouldn't be in danger just because you refused to love her? We're all in danger. But maybe love could ease fear, pain and danger."

"How do you know? What if it doesn't? Have you ever had the experience of love?"

"You should know, Draco. Don't tell me, you couldn't feel the strong alliance between the two of you. Don't tell me you didn't feel like you were new born in the sweet night when she told you about her feelings. Don't tell me you didn't sense the magic, a different magic from our one, attracted you close to her.  Don't tell me, that every time you look into her eyes, the rest of the world don't vanished, and everything else would be even worth notice. 

Don't tell me you didn't feel like wrapping your arms around her, every time you see her. You want to kiss her, if you just see those adorable lips of hers. You even want to withdraw a hair if it falls down her face. And if you see her cry, you want to cry by yourself. You want nothing more than to wipe off those awful salty teardrops which are disturbing her beautiful face."

Draco was speechless. He was right. But how could he know?

"I've experienced love once. And only once in a lifetime you are able to know such a strong affection. And you have to realize that everything, everything, should be worth to love this girl."

"Because she is worth everything, I don't. If she's worth everything, than she would be also worth to sacrifice everything. I'll give her my life. I love her, and that's the reason why she must not know it. Can't you understand that??", Draco was mad at him.

"I can. I did the same.", Snape said, awful quiet and calm. "But now I know it was a mistake. I just don't want you to repeat it."

Draco thought about it. They just sat there for a while, then he got up.

"I promise, I'll think about it. Good night, professor."

"Good night, Draco."

Draco left for his dorms, he was confused.

'Will it ever stop, this endless thinking?'

But deep inside himself there was the answer.

'It will. When you've accept that you two need to be together.'

A/N: hmmm… I'm here again? *g* sorry for not updating quiet a while (it were just some days, but I'm sorry anyway.) So, I'm sure you remember the conversation between Snape and Draco (Chapter 19) this is something like a sequel to it. Because I thought, that Snape also should have the right to speak up. 

Whatever, I hope you liked it, because even if you think it makes Snape OOC, I think it's nice to know that he is able to feel emotion, after all. ;-)


	23. Understanding

A/N: Don't own anything. 

Thanks to: jane air, katya, freaked-out, raineblade-ace, super sycoh, Football Babe.

Why does everybody want Draco to move, huh? *g* hope you'll like it. 

Harry ran down the dark corridors of Hogwarts. 

He was searching for his girlfriend. He didn't understand why she ran away so suddenly. 

They needed to talk. If he could only find her…

He found her rocking back and forward, crying hard and completely agitated.

Harry walked up to her, kneeled next to her and laid his arm around her back.

"It's ok, love. You don't need to cry. I'm here. Shhh. It's alright."

But Hermione didn't calm down. The touch and the sudden presence of Harry caused her only to sob harder.

The dark-haired boy sighed, and thought a moment about his possibilities.

The he propped himself up and laid one arm around her back again, the other under her knee.

He lifted Hermione up and carried her to the Gryffindor tower. When he found the common room deserted, he remembered that the others were still down in the great hall, but brought her up to his dormitory nevertheless. Just to be sure.

He looked the door with a charm and watched Hermione sleeping in his arms. 

She looked still sad and weak, but also peaceful. 

Harry laid his girlfriend down his bed and watched her for a while.

Hermione felt a gaze on her face. She opened her eyes and found her boyfriend sitting next to her.

Hermione realized that this wasn't her dormitory, but Harry and Rons one.

Livid green eyes full of sorrow still looked at her.

"Harry-", but he didn't even let her complete the sentence.

"So you're finally awake, are you? Fine. I think, you should really tell me everything now, you know?"

"Everything? What-?", her voice was full of hysteria by now. 

"Hermione, we've been friends since five years already, you surely didn't expect that I wouldn't notice that you've kept something from me."

The girl stared at him in shock.

"Harry, believe me, you don't want to know it. It isn't important, really…"

"_'IT'_ is important enough to make you cry, the second time already, by the way." She looked at him puzzled, but Harry ignored it and went on. "Maybe I'll live to regret what I'm about to do now, but I have to say it, or I never will.   
When I saw you crying, the day we got together, I thought I could stop the tears. I thought, if I could give you all my love, maybe it would help you to get over it, and just … go on with your life. With me.  
But instead of easing your sadness, I made it worse. I'm sorry Hermione. I never meant to hurt you."

Harry softly touched her cheek with his thump and his eyes pleaded for forgiveness.

"Harry… What do you mean with that?" Maybe for the first time in her life Hermione didn't understand what the person in front of her tried to tell her. Or she didn't want to.

"I love you, Hermione. And because of that, I'm breaking up with you."

He waited a moment, but Hermione didn't seem to understand what he'd just told her, so he explained.

"I know you love him. And believe me, he loves you too. You see, where would be the sense of our relationship if you love another one? The only way you are able to be happy is if the two of you are together."

Hermione was bewildered, to say the least.

It took her quite some time to figure out what Harry had said. 

"But… Harry, you're right. It wouldn't be right if I would stay with you any longer. I love him, and I can't change that, as much as I would like to. Because Draco doesn't love me back."

"He does, Hermione. You are smart, just open your eyes. You'll find that he isn't even able to take his eyes off of you. And when he's looking at you, his eyes just show the love I always hoped once to find in your eyes."

Hermione looked at him in amazement. Was he right? Did he really love her?

"Hermione, I think, he just made a mistake. Go, tell him that."

For a moment, Hermione really wanted to stand up and run out of his dormitory, but then she said: "Harry don't be stupid. I can't go to him at night. First, pupils are not allowed to be outside their tower after lunch, second, I can't go down to Slytherin…"

"You don't need to go down to the dungeons. He's got his own room. We'll take the invisible-cloak. Come on."

Harry dragged Hermione down the corridors between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor.

"Harry…", she whispered anxious, "how do you know where we're going? What if they catch us? Harry! Please, don't run!"

"Shhh, Hermione, be quiet. I know it, because Draco stayed here over Christmas, and I was bored, so I followed him to his room once. No, don't look at me accusatory, you should be glad I did. And they don't catch us. We. Are. Invisible. And I'm running because if I don't bring you to our destination quickly, the courage may leave me… Here we are.", Harry stopped in front of a portrait. 

There was a black-dressed lady sitting, she looked stiff and sad. Her long, curly hair and her eyes were as dark as ebony, and she held a black rose in her hand. 

Harry sighed and looked at his girlfriend.

"Don't give up. Draco might be stubborn, but don't go away from him until he finally gives in. And he will, believe me. He loves you. Good luck, Hermione."

With that, Harry kissed her slightly, it was just a short, light kiss. It was a farewell.

He whispered "carpe diem" and watched the nervous girl stepping in.

He stayed in front of the picture, thinking that it showed exactly his feelings.

'If you hurt her, Malfoy, I swear I'll kill you with my bare hands, because the unforgivable curses wouldn't be enough pain for you.', he whispered, and then walked back to the Gryffindor tower.

A/N: So, i couldn't let Harry stay mean. Next chapter will be the last. I think so. but i don't promise.. never trust a madwoman. *lol*

what i've forgotten to say: REVIEW!! pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasseeeeeee!!! *goes down to her knees*


	24. By My Side

A/N: That's the final chapter. The last one. I'm glad I'm finished, tomorrow school will start again.

Please do read the thing that's written after "the end", it's long, but important. 

thanks: Barty(is that from barty crouch? I couldn't figure it out, but stay with dreamcatcher, I liked that one a lot more), raineblade-ace, Football Babe, Ami, super sycoh, jane air, butterfly, freaked-out,... 

Hermione stepped in a huge room with large windows. Heavy, dark-green curtains hung down at each side of them, but they weren't drawn, so she could see the fields of Hogwarts in the darkness of the night. 

She looked around her. There was a big desk, on which a lot of books were piled up. Hermione smiled, it reminded her of the library-desks, she loved so much.

Then she saw a wardrobe out of dark wood, there were some figures graved in there. There were two dragons on each side of the doors, surrounded by licking flames, but on the edges of the doors there were unicorns. First Hermione thought they would be attacking the Dragon, but then she realized that they were trying to calm the dragons down.

There was a door, maybe to the bathroom, but Hermione had no time to confirm it.

Her attention wandered to the four-poster at the other side of the room.

The same dark-green curtains she had seen at the windows, were also at the four-poster. But they, too, were drawn back. 

Hermione stepped closer. The object of admiration lay on his back, all four legs stretched out and his eyes wide open. 

Hermione walked up to his side, but he didn't move. No-one moved. There was not a single sound to hear.

Finally, Draco spoke.

"You've come here.", it should be a statement, but it sounded more like a question. His eyes were still fixed on the ceiling.

"Look at me.", she required softly.

He turned his head around and his grey eyes looked at her.

They weren't as cold as usual. Actually, they were full of emotion.

His face was still motionless, but his eyes reflected something, that Hermione never thought to see in them:

Fear. 

Doubt. 

But also hope.

And then she found something very well hidden, but to her it was as if the word would scream into her face:

_Love._

Draco sat up and crawled into the darkest corner of his bed, drawing his knees to his chin and hugging them tightly.

He looked like a frightened child. Hermione had to be careful. She didn't want to harm him.

She had made up her mind for what she would say to him if she would get the chance. But now she couldn't bring herself to blame him. It was so much more difficult if she had to see his eyes. 

She climbed into his bed, but didn't come nearer. They eyed each other carefully.

"What are you afraid of?", she asked silently.

His eyes pleaded her not to ask such a question, but surprising enough, he answered.

"I'm afraid, they'll get me. I'm afraid to be alone. I'm afraid to be hurt. I'm afraid of you. I'm afraid of my feelings for you.", his voice was merely a whisper.

"I won't leave you alone. And I won't hurt you. Why are you afraid of your feelings?", she asked after a while. What else could she say? He would surely flinch if she tried to comfort him.

"Because I never felt the same before. It scares me. It makes me do things I never thought I would be able to do. It makes me do things, I never _wanted_ to do."

"Is it bad?"

Draco shrugged. "I don't know. Do you know the feeling, if it just overpowers you… I mean, you completely loose control… but… you don't mind."

Hermione smiled sadly. "I know it. This is what I feel when I'm near you."

Draco thought about it some time, than a new expression was shown off in his eyes. Regret.

"Hermione", he took a deep breath, "I'm sorry for what I said about the kiss. It meant something to me. It meant the whole world to me."

Suddenly Hermione was in front of his face. Just some inches away, he could see that her chocolate-brown eyes were full of tears.

She closed her eyes, and a tear dropped down.

Draco moved forward, so he could feel her breath on his skin. 

Was he about to do a mistake? Or was it right? And why couldn't he stay the same cold person as ever in her presence?

But all those questions were drown in the sweetness of their kiss.

They met shyly, first, softly discovering the other lips, carefully testing the other ones true feelings.

The butterflies seemed to make them float above the ground, and their surroundings seemed to vanish.

Soon, the kiss got more passionate, and when Hermiones tongue stroked along his lips, begging for entry, he opened them slightly, and their tongues duelled a while.

Draco moaned out of pleasure, and the sound of his own voice seemed to snap him back in reality.

He backed away and stood up immediately, trying to get as much space between Hermione and him as possible.

"Wh-What are you doing??", there it was again. Fear. Doubt.

"What? I didn't do anything!!"

Draco shivered. He had left the comfortable warmth of his bed, of Hermione, of the kiss. Now there was only coldness left. This brought him back to his senses. 

"What are you doing to me, Hermione? You make me loose my mind! Can't you see that you're confusing me? You make me forget everything! You make me forget the danger we live in!"

"But isn't it right to forget? You can't live your life in fear the whole time!"

"Do you think it is better to forget a moment and then regret it??"

"Draco, what would you regret? You can't regret if you're dead!"

"It's not about me!", he said desperately, "What would I do if I would loose _you_??"

Hermione frowned. About her?

"I could never forgive myself if I ever bring you in danger. And if you're with me, you would be in high danger."

"But… Draco… This is MY life! And I'm able to handle it by myself!"

"Then you've lied."

"What??"

"You said, you won't hurt me. You said, you'll never leave me alone. I couldn't stand it, loving you, thinking I've got everything I ever wanted, and then, you'd be taken away from me, and I would be left with nothing. I'm fine with watching you out of the distance. It doesn't make false hope."

Hermione was up to her feet now, and tried to get near Draco, but every step she went closer to him, he took a step backwards.

"Then, Draco Malfoy, you're a coward."

"You're not the first who said this."

"So what did you plan to do? What do you want to do the rest of your life? Hide? Here in Hogwarts? Maybe becoming such a greasy, embittered, rude teacher like Snape is? Waiting, 'til Voldemort or his followers get you? And that's now what you call life?", her voice was bitter, and disappointed.

"Yeah, I think that's what it was", he smiled at her sarcastically.

Hermioine rolled her eyes. How was she to help him if he doesn't even listen to what she has to say?

"You know, it isn't easy. It's not easy to to pretend as if nothing had happened, when Voldemorts followers are on your heels. What are you trying to tell me anyway? Are you really planning on staying here with me? Oh please, Hermione, you don't want to ruin your life because of that foolish thing you might eventually feel for me."

"Since when have you given up hope that someone might defeat the dark lord?", she said sadly, shaking her head in disbelieve.

"You would surely rather not know that. I just know one thing: They'll get me. You know, maybe they hate Potter, and Dumbledore, and all the good-ones from the Order, but there is something that they hate even more than the other side. And that's betrayal. So, they'll come and kill me, sooner or later. Maybe Hogwarts might give me some protection, but Dumbledore is not able to shield me forever. And I'm surely not staying here all my life. So, that's MY plan for my life. Maybe finishing school and then go outside and face them. Duelling a bit and then die a real death. A brave mans death."

"If it wouldn't be so fucking gravely, I would start snickering right now. A brave mans death? Hiding might not be the bravest thing to do, but you're a Slytherin, at last, and not a Gryffindor. I don't understand you guys! Always playing the hero. What about the people who wouldn't like to see you dead??"

"Do you know such people?"

"Yeah. What about Snape?"

"Snape's ok, he would understand it. He couldn't expect me to live the same life he did."

"What about me?"

"That, GRANGER, is the reason why you should have stayed with fucking Potter!!", he spoke loud and very slowly, stepping towards her and trying to stick the words in her head.

"Do you think that would have changed anything??", Hermione was furious.

"Yeah, of course it would! You could forget me! You could just move on with your life, and not being held back by me. And then, someday you'll read in the newspapers:

MALFOY DEAD, MURDERED BY DEATH EATERS, HIS OWN COMPANIONS.

And then you would be able to show it to your husband and say: that's what he earned. You've never been supposed to find out that I'm on your side, and so was Potter. And because you two couldn't stop your curiosity, my plan doesn't work."

"No, Your plan does not work because I don't love Harry, or Ron, or anyone else than you! And you should really start accept that!"

"No, I won't accept that! Why don't you just leave me if you really love me, because that's what I want!"

"I thought you said you're afraid of being alone? And even thought that's one of you're greatest fears, you're asking me to do exactly that?"

"Don't you see that it's the only right thing to do?? Leave, Hermione, please!"

There he was again. Weak. Tired.

But Hermione saw right through him, and he knew that. Even though his voice pleaded her to go, his eyes begged her to stay with him.

"You can't force me to leave. And I won't. Stop fighting it. If you want to go out there, facing Voldemort and his Death Eater, please, do so, but I'll be on your side. And I'm not going to leave you until the end. And if you finally decide to stay here in Hogwarts, I will stay with you. And there's nothing you could do against it."

Draco sighed. He knew Hermione was stubborn, but whoever said this, had understated. 

He took her hand and led the two of them two the four-poster, where they sat down.

There were so many still unspoken words in the room, and there was an unbearable tension between them.

Draco still wanted to held her back. It wasn't right to involve her in that. But he tried everything to convince her of that. Why should he say any more, if she didn't even want to listen to him?

Hermione already took a deep breath to say other words of persuasion, but Draco quietened her with laying a finger on her lips.

"I trust you. I don't know why, but I do. I hope you know what you'll probably going through. It will never be easy, at least not until Voldemort has been defeated. But I'm ready to go through it, with you by my side. Because I love you. And because you love me too."

Hermione was about to cry again, but she felt that enough tears were shed. 

So they kissed each other, finally not stopping the emotions of overwhelming them, bound by the feelings they shared for each other. 

~*~ The End ~*~

N/A. This is it. 

Oh, I can't believe I finished it. I don't like the ending too much. it's a little too much romantic. But hey, this is a romance, and I really hate a dramatic ending, or I would have had it written in the summary ;-)

Maybe it comes a little to rapid, Draco's understanding. But deep down he knew that she would never leave him. aaaww, cute. So, I like Hermione a lot. Maybe you'll see at the role I gave her, that I'm quite a feminist. some bad tongues might call me a woman's libber, but I just like that girls don't have to wait ever and always for the man to take the first step. (Though I prefer it in the real world, because I'm a coward.) I like the fact that Hermione had to fight over him so much. It makes her a very strong person, which she is in the books, too, I think.

Maybe you don't like that it stops exactly here. I thought about it a long time. I thought about ending with Harry and Ron, or with Snape and Lily, or with the next day, or even not ending at all.  
But that's not what I want this story to become.  
This story is called "Snape's footsteps", and nothing else should be written in there than Draco stepping in his professors footsteps.   
Properly considered, everything that belongs to the relationship after this final decision and acceptation of both sides to share their life with each other, is none of Snape's concern anymore.

And besides that, 24 chapters is a really good number to stop. Like a day has 24 hours, and christmas eve is also at december 24th. Perfect to stop.

Now, If you read this, I figured you've read my story. And I really hope you liked it. It was my first Harry Potter fanfiction that I actually finished. It's my first fanfiction I _ever_ finished. ;-) 

I know, there were some things you surely didn't like. So, if you don't mind, spend a little of your time making me a better writer in giving feedback. And if there was a thing you liked specially, please, don't be shy either and tell me, you just make my day in every way (how poetic!). 

At the beginning of the story, there was a lot complaining about my grammatical and spelling errors. It's left on me to be ashamed of some things I've written, and believe me, I really am. To the end of the story, those comments stoped, because the people who couldn't stand those mistakes anymore, didn't read further. I thank those who went on reading it nevertheless, maybe clapping their hand to their forehead if they had seen another big mistake of mine, but not putting me down anymore. I thank you for that, and that you are so understanding.

But of course, I want to do something against making those mistakes. When I finally thought about a beta-reader, I wasn't far away from the end, so I thought it wouldn't be profitable. But as I love my story, I want to look at it sometime later and just enjoy the plot, and not the mistakes. So I wondered if maybe some of you would do me the big fat favour and correct it. It's a pleading, specially for those whose english is the first language. I can't pay you for it, and the only good thing you would have from it is that with the next story, maybe I'm able to do a better job. (and my english-teacher would be delighted)

So if you liked the story this much, you would be glad to see it without or at least with very less mistakes, or you just feel pity for a poor, not-very-talented-in-languages, girl, you just leave me your e-mail-address, and I would send the whole story to you.

And if you don't like correcting too much, please send me the last review nevertheless. Reviews is the most important thing of the story.

Thank you for wasting your time in reading this, I think I should finish a story more often, it makes me stoned! *lol* just kidding.

I hope anyone has even read this, because I always liked to digress of the topic.

~_baboon


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